1 Hour Lag Behind

2010-03-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

9 Deadly Words Used By A Woman

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

2010-02-28T01:00:00.001+08:00

Personality Type Report
Your Personality Preferences
INTROVERT
While you may not be anti-social, you do need (and deserve) your private time and space to retreat from the world. Unlike extroverts, you need to develop a concept of the world or some aspect of it before experiencing it. Too much socializing may sap your energies. Your energies are derived from exploring the inner world of ideas, impressions and pure thought.
INTUITIVE
While you do process information through your senses you add a twist to your processing by relying on intuition and serendipity. You look for undercurrents of meaning and abstractions in what you experience physically. You do not just see things just as they are, but as what they could be. While you may rely on common sense at times, you trust inspiration far more.
PERCEIVING
You like to have as much information as possible before making a decision. Putting off a final decision until the last moment does not make you uncomfortable. Indeed once a decision is made, a course plotted, you may feel a bit uneasy, because you feel bound to a certain course of action. You would much prefer to wait and see what happens. You enjoy the opportunity to improvise. Commitments are not etched in stone to you, and are changeable.
FEELING
You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you. How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical. Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.
Your Personality Type
Introvert/Intuitive/Feeling/Perceiving

You are devoted and compassionate. You have a well-developed distaste for rules, orders and schedules. You are a natural born learner and can get so absorbed in your projects that you forget those around you. You are passionate about your beliefs and love ideals. You have very high standards for yourself. You are very creative, sensitive, reserved, and introspective. You respect the values of others and expect them to respect yours.

In relationships you are loyal and totally committed. You prefer a few deep relationships over a horde of acquaintances. Because you are somewhat reserved, you do best in one on one and small group situations. When you feel comfortable, you can be very entertaining and capricious. You are nurturing and supportive by nature. You greatest social challenge is to balance your need to withdraw into your inner-world with your need to keep a strong connection with those you care for. .

Famous People of Your Type:

Homer, Virgil, Mary, mother of Jesus, St. John, St. Luke, William Shakespeare, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, A. A. Milne, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Helen Keller, Carl Rogers, Fred Rogers, Dick Clark, Donna Reed, Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis, Neil Diamond, Tom Brokaw, James Herriot, Annie Dillard, James Taylor, Julia Roberts, Scott Bakula, John F. Kennedy, Jr.

Occupations Suited to Your Type Include:

Actor, architect, artist, composer, editor, translator, journalist, librarian, musician, occupational therapist, psychotherapist, educator, researcher, scientist, and writer.

http://www.psychjuice.com/per/pers.php

2010-02-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

Your Life Path Number is 9
Your Life Path Number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one.
A 9 Life Path will lead you to look at all with love, compassion and tolerance. You will explore the connection that exists between all the things in our universe. You will learn to let go of your own desires to serve the better good of all of us. In whatever field you choose, your endeavors will help heal the wounds life inflicts on those around you. It is your mission to make our world a gentler, kinder place for all of us.
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Your Life Destiny Number is 9
Your Destiny Number sheds light on those things you must accomplish in your life to be fulfilled.
Your destiny is to learn how to love all of mankind without condition. You do truly want "peace on earth and good will toward man;" and will work to make those conditions a reality. Whether through some art form or your touch, you are destined to heal those who come into contact with you. For you, life's horizon is limitless.
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Your Soul Number is 8
Your Soul Number describes your deepest desires and dreams and the person you truly want to be.
You inner desire is to lead, to take control of the world around you. Since your talents lend themselves to this desire it is very likely your desires will be fully satisfied.
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Your Personality Number is 1
Your Personality Number reveals the "external you"--the personality traits others will know you by.
As is fitting with the number 1's prime directive to lead, those with a 1 personality number have the qualities of a natural born leader. They are the alphas of the pack and stand out in any group. They are confident, self-reliant and courageous. They are also blessed with a mind capable of formulating innovative solutions to old and new problems alike. As long as the 1 personality does not become overbearing and dogmatic, they should always find themselves in the position for which they were born: the head of the pack.
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Your Maturity Number is 9
Your Maturity Number reveals the person you will come to be--your true self.
Persons with a 9 Maturity Number do not always have an easy path before them. They must learn to balance their love for humanity with their own needs. Throughout your life you will heal and enlighten those around you. In your later years you will have mastered your healing techniques and learned to apply your compassion for others effectively. You will be able to look upon your life and see that you have been a great benefit to most who have had the good fortune to know you.
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Your Balance Number is 8
As long as your life is on an even or uplifting keel balance numbers are relatively dormant. However, in those times when your life is out of order your Balance Number can become central to resolving the turmoil you are experiencing. Your Balance Number reflects the traits you need to bring to the forefront in order the get through difficult periods with the least amount of damage or time wasted on negative influences.
A 8 Balance Number indicates you have considerable talents for leading during troubling times, so take the lead and guide all parties involved towards a fair solution. However, be careful to not become dictatorial. You cannot force others to accept your solution. The key is to use your creative talents to find a solution that is fair to all.
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The 4 Pinnacles
Pinnacles represent moments in your life in which you realize current goals and learn some of life's lessons. If you are at the beginning of a Pinnacle, then they can be used as a predictive tool to assist in managing your future. Your first Pinnacle begins at birth and last until around the age of 27. Your Second Pinnacle last through the next 9 year and the Third Pinnacle last for 9 years after the Second Pinnacle has passed. Your Fourth Pinnacle picks up where the Third Pinnacle ends and last throughout the rest of your life
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Your First Pinnacle Number is 3
You are at a time in life where the door to self-expression is ready to open. This should be a very creative period for you during which you also develop strong friendships and learn to speak from your heart.
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Your Second Pinnacle Number is 6
A 6 Pinnacle notes a time of love and devotion to friends and family, or possibly the building of a new family after a divorce. During this Pinnacle your energies will be focused on your home-life. You will nurture your loved ones and beautify your surroundings as much as possible. During this Pinnacle that which is in your heart will come to the forefront.
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Your Third Pinnacle Number is 9
A 9 Pinnacle means you are in a period where your love for your fellow man will be at its zenith. In this period you will play healer and inspirer to those around you. A 9 Pinnacle is never easy. You will be asked to sacrifice meeting your own needs for the good of others. You may experience the pain of loss, but in the end will be rewarded by fulfilling your soul's need to ease the pain of others.
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Your Fourth Pinnacle Number is 9
A 9 Pinnacle means you are in a period where your love for your fellow man will be at its zenith. In this period you will play healer and inspirer to those around you. A 9 Pinnacle is never easy. You will be asked to sacrifice meeting your own needs for the good of others. You may experience the pain of loss, but in the end will be rewarded by fulfilling your soul's need to ease the pain of others.
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The 4 Challenges
Challenges denote personal weaknesses and temptations you will have to overcome and strengths you will have to develop to fully realize your goals. The 4 Challenges have the same time frame as the 4 Pinnacles.
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Your First Challenge Number is 6
A 6 Challenge marks a period in which you will learn to balance the needs of your family with your own. You will learn that true nurturing can only come from your heart. Your idealistic views of marriage may be shaken some, but if you learn to temper them some you will be happier and more secure on the other side of this Challenge.
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Your Second Challenge Number is 6
A 6 Challenge marks a period in which you will learn to balance the needs of your family with your own. You will learn that true nurturing can only come from your heart. Your idealistic views of marriage may be shaken some, but if you learn to temper them some you will be happier and more secure on the other side of this Challenge.
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Your Third Challenge Number is 0
The 0 challenge means the choice of what you do with your life is entirely yours. Yours is an old soul--you've already struggled through all the challenges of the other numbers. Your reward for completing these Challenges is free will. You may face all or any of the challenges of the numbers 1 through 9. You may simply drift through life without a destination or goals. Or you may rise above the struggles of others and use this Challenge period to sculpt a life based on love, integrity, justice and vision. At first glance, this freedom to choose may seem like a vacation, but it isn't. Indeed, the gravity of the responsibility which comes with a 0 challenge is tremendous, because how you choose to address your 0 challenge will profoundly affect the lives of those around you, and, possibly, the entire world.
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Your Fourth Challenge Number is 3
The Challenge the number 3 puts before you is to learn to speak truly from your heart. You will have to overcome the negative traits of the number 3, which include superficiality, hyperbole, egocentrism, gossiping and disorganization.
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The 3 Cycles
Cycles occur in 28 year periods. The First Cycle last from birth through your 28th year and is called your Formative or Seed Cycle. The Second Cycle--your Productive or Fruit Cycle--begins at age 29 and last through your 56th year. The Third Cycle, your Harvest Cycle, begins with the coming of your 57th year and last throughout the rest of your life. Your Cycle Numbers tell you the lessons you must learn and goals you must meet to stay on your Life's Path and achieve your true destiny.
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Your First Cycle Number is 3
Your emphasis during this Cycle will be on unleashing your creativity. You will need to focus your energies to get all you can from this Cycle. The reward for traversing this Cycle successfully is a life full of friends and the coming to fruition of your creative talents.
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Your Second Cycle Number is 9
Those in a 9 Cycle will see their compassion and tolerance for others blossom. You will find satisfaction in putting the greater good for all ahead of your own needs. This is a cycle in which you will explore the depths of your love for your fellow man.
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Your Third Cycle Number is 6
A 6 Cycle denotes a period favorable for love and marriage. You will learn about commitment and responsibility to your loved ones. If you have had a failed marriage, this is a period to start anew. Regardless of the conditions you bring into this Cycle, this remains a period for the homebody to come out in you.
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Your Karmic Lesson Number(s) are/is 4 6 8
Karmic Lesson numbers reveal areas in which we need to grow. To become more complete, we need to give extra attention to these areas in this lifetime. If one of your 5 core numbers is the same as a Karmic Lesson Number the significance of the Karmic Lesson Number is reduced.
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A 4 Karmic Lesson Number is indicative of a need for direction in life. Although you may feel somewhat confused about why you are here, work to find your true path through this life.
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A 6 Karmic Lesson Number denotes an inability or reluctance to make commitments. Even when you do commit yourself to something it may be your nature to hold back any true passion for the commitment or relationship. Over time you might do well to slowly allow your passions to express themselves and put your heart into your commitments and relationships.
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A 8 Karmic Lesson Number points to a talent for making money that is not properly governed. You may experience tremendous swings in your financial status. This is because while you know how to make money, you also tend to be way too speculative and impulsive when dealing with matters of finance. Try and develop a more cautious approach to money matters and it is possible these swings in fortune will diminish.
The number 8 appears in your core numbers, so the the importance of this number is lessened.
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Your Lucky Number is 6
Your Personal Lucky Number does not change. This number will be lucky for you your entire life. Your luck derived from this number will be strongest when you are addressing events and issues related to the general meaning of the number. Lucky Numbers should not be relied on to constantly produce positive results, or make impulsive, high risk gambles. They simply mean that where they appear you have an edge. How large an edge is impossible to determine, but seems to increase with the number of occurrences your Lucky Number is be associated with a given event or issue.
Those with a Personal Lucky Number 6 will find their luck from the 6 strongest when the issue at hand concerns nurturing and the home. 6 is not a particularly strong number when dealing with finances. However it is very strong when the issue is true, romantic love.
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Your Signature Number is a 6
Signature numbers are based on how you sign your name. Your signature carries the power and the faults of one of the base 9 numbers. You may actually want to sign different documents with different signatures to reap the benefit of a particular number. For instance, if you are signing an agreement of partnership you might want to alter your signature to reflect the powers of the number 2.
The signature you entered is a 6. A 6 signature is very good for times when your are dealing with matters concerning family, housing, or community.
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Your Birthday Number is 9
This number is most influential between your 28th and 56th year. While it is not the most important number in your profile, it does have an effect on your Life's Path and Destiny.
You are idealistic and compassionate, generous and sensitive. At heart you are a humanitarian of the highest order.
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Your Personal Year Number is 6
This number tells you what is happening in your life this year. This number should be used to help you avoid setbacks and focus your energies on those areas of your life where you are most likely to achieve your goals.
This is a year in which you should try to balance your home life with your work life. Indeed, your family should take precedence over all other concerns. Care for those in your family who need your help, nurture any young ones, and move closer to your significant other.
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Your Personal Month Number is 8
This number tells you what is happening in your life this month. Use this number in the same way you would your Personal year number, but apply it only to the current month.
This is a time for you to take things seriously and ensure all aspects of your life are moving in Make time to be alone and allow yourself to evaluate where your life is going.
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Your Foundation Letter is C
Having a C Foundation Letter identifies someone who can bring levity and optimism to almost any situation.
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Your End Letter is A
Having an A End Letter denotes someone who is not a quitter. They will finish whatever task they have taken on with or without the help of others.
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Your First Vowel is O

http://psychjuice.com/numerology2/number2.php#top

2010-01-25T18:48:00.002+08:00

"Why did you let ______ overtake you?"
Somebody asked me this question.
Guess what was my answer...
"Because...because...I don't know."
I really don't know, and I don't know why I don't know. I am still pondering over it.

***

Sorry is a big word. It comes with great responsibility, and I don't know if I am that responsible.

What others did to you, even if it is wrong, we should not repeat it. However, if the wrong things really did point out your weakness, accept it.

***

I finally understand ________. We really have done our best of the best in that circumstance, but, nobody believes us. Put yourself into our shoes before you judge us.

2010-01-15T22:51:00.002+08:00

What an awesome week!! Consecutively broken two 5k personal best in just a week's time!

On Wednesday training, I broke my 25:05 personal best to 24:58mins.
For today's training, I broke 24:58 personal best to 24:28mins.
WOOT!!!~

Hope that I can break my personal best again during next saturday's race!...Otherwise, my back, shoulders and abs will ache for nothing...*Cross fingers*

2010-01-10T14:03:00.002+08:00

In movies, in lifes, those revealed, are always the starting and the climax. Ending, always for us to decipher.

Happily ever after, or, dead? If you can decide the ending of the movie, why can't you do it the same for yours?

If you have the chance to press the "restart" button of your life, will you?
You might. I won't.
I love how god has shaped my life today into perfection. 酸甜苦辣，我都填过了。 You might be thousands of footsteps ahead of me, and I might be lagging behind compared to you, but, experiences of your fast-paced life can never be more than mine. At least I have done the basic things of life: sniffing at flowers and listening to the birds singing, have you? I have even enjoyed the moments when people have bossed their way past me to the front, have you?

No matter how exciting your life is, how many times you have been under a single spotlight, how many times you have outshone me, it cannot never be compared to my simple life.

2010-01-06T19:35:00.003+08:00

What a bad day I've had today!!! I was attacked by freaking lots of saliva !! *Faints* Yeah, saliva. I'm having a phobia for salivas now.

The problem is not only one teacher okay... Is TWO teachers eh! Somemore is consecutively one. The first teacher left the classroom, and I was like, PHEW! But, oh my god, who knows the second teacher also the same!!!

Okay, let's start with the first teacher. When he talks, there's like so much saliva at the corner of his lips. That's super gross okay!! Why can't he like get that saliva into his mouth? The worst thing is that his saliva problem is so bad that one of the saliva landed on my specs!!! EWWW !!! And, when four of his salivas finally evaporated from my table, another four landed again. And the saliva is like those very nourished and thick that kind eh... SUPER DISGUSTING EH !!!!! Somemore, his saliva really like never ending that kind, I still have to dodge. Okay, Adam also got....I saw it....

The second teacher not that bad lor... His saliva problem not that worse, but, still bad. I was like...listening and listening to him...then suddenly got like one drip of liquid fell on my chin...then i was like... EWWW !! WHATS THAT?!?!?!?!?! GROSSSSSSS !!!!

2010-01-05T20:32:00.004+08:00

MYOBBBBBB !!!!!
I just found out something which has been hiding from me for 1 year+ !!! Somemore, the thing is like known to 40 people?!?!?! Sia la, how come I don't know... So many people eh... AND AND AND, there's this guy(I won't say his name), actually know the updates in my freaking life !!!!!!! And I barely know him, and them.

It's so creepy when someone knows you, and your business, but you don't even have a single clue about them, or barely knows them.

AND !!! Today, my teacher don't allow me to go toilet when I was like urgent. She said, "Your recess is just over." SO?!?! It doesn't means that I have to go to the toilet during my recess, right? First, I don't need to use it at that time. Second, I scared she would scold me if I went to the toilet and was not punctual for her lesson. See, I so good, wait for her to come back then asked her permission.

The worst, my bag is going to be freaking heavy tomorrow. I have to bring like freaking thick double science and A maths books !!! omg!!! plus, my training stuffs...FREAK luh !!!!!! After training so tired already still need carry heavy bag !!!

2010-01-04T20:48:00.002+08:00

First day of school

1. Never iron my uniform. Looks like a total FREAK!!! I thought the shop help us iron already, so never iron. Lucky Zheng Wei also never iron his uniform !!! HAHA !! But, we'll just going to end up as two untidy freakos who are sitting together......LOL!

2. The class super quiet!!! Teacher tried to make jokes to make us laugh, but failed. I really miss the GL people and the noise......

3. The English teacher, Mr Lam, has high expectations of us. (I bet he'll has to lower down his expectations after teaching us. HA!) Then, he started to say that grammar is too simple for us already. We should have known it and he'll never teach us that. (Well, guess he'll have to someday.) Then, Wei bin, Marcus and I smiled sheepishly at each other!!! (I failed Mr Edgerton's grammar test 2 times... But Marcus WORST, THREE times!!! Wei bin eh, C6 !!!) We're in for some...FUN!! yeah...

4. Zheng Wei and I will be partners ...well, hopefully for one week only. Because I kept trying to talk to him, then he either kept ignoring me or just gave me a monosyllabus like, "yes, no". ARGGHHHHH !!!

2010-01-03T13:23:00.000+08:00

*Currently using mobile*

I'm so glad that my faith had finally paid off; my judgement has not been wrong. And even more, when you could think things between us maturedly.

Your needs, your wants, you don't want them to burden me.

You don't hold the baton anymore. You have passed it. Its mine now. Even if you think i can't do it, i still have to do it. You can't run another round for me.

2010-01-02T17:44:00.004+08:00

Although you have apologised, but I'm always a b*tch in your eyes. If you have once made me happy, why would I go around badmouthing you? I'm not that free...I still have a behaviour to watch over.

We're friends now, and you don't even have faith in me for one small issue...

No hard feelings.

P.S. Sorry for the bad words.

2010-01-02T00:41:00.002+08:00

Friends?

I seriously wonder if my heart and mind are connected. Both of them are totally having different reactions, different thinkings. One wants to be strong, change into a completely new corrina and move on, while the other wants to maintain as the present corrina and continue to hope. Wait, not really hope in an one-sided thing. But, well, he also got helped in my hopes......

I really don't know what to do. My mind kept reminding me that his status is only a friend, that's why I'm very cautious with my actions and words to him. But, can my mind, my words, my actions change the way my heart feels? Or am I different in the inside and the outside? Will I say one thing and feel the other thing? I have lived in this body for 14 freaking years(reaching 15), but why can't I still understand myself?

Wait, no. Give up. Nothing more is going to happen. Corrina Tan, you're really so harsh on yourself. You know you are going to suffer if you want the best of both worlds.

Give me some time to think......

01/01/10

2010-01-01T14:16:00.008+08:00

Something happened in my life on New Year. No matter how I tried to write it out, I just couldn't, and I don't wish too, for...what if it brought back awful memories? So I have no choice, but to use lyrics and two sentences of my own. Figure out all these unlinked stuffs by yourself(if you want).

You knew, He knew, I knew, but I chose to deceive myself.

花接受凋零，风接受追寻，心的伤还有一点不要紧，我接受你的决定。
你将会被谁抱紧，唱什么歌哄她开心，都不关我。

你的明天快不快乐，都不是我的。
我的明天快不快乐，都是我的。

That wave was not my 肯定, was not supposed to be the last wave.

时间把习惯欢乐，伤口愈合，也撤销我在想你的资格。

徘了徊了走了錯了過了等了
累了全都困了煩的亂的等的都
是真的

瘋的想的念的不安的焦慮的
複雜的夢過的擁有的失去的
怎麼忘呢

你做過的傷放困了你愛的音
那天的我等著你等成了擺設

我的你的他的好的壞的難的
灰的藍的黃的酸的甜的苦的
都還記得

非常想要忘的絕對不能忘的
我心要換你的真的不行那麼
只得放了

環島的火車載著我第幾天了
忽然發現這一刻我不想你了

我的快樂會回來的
只要清楚曾愛得那麼深刻
不准問值不值得
我的快樂會回來的
離開不是誰給了誰的選擇

I have given it all, but sometimes, the decision and mindset don't only relys on you; the other half holds the card too. And when one wants head, one wants tail, someone has to give in. In this case, it is me. I respect his decision, for I know that if I hold on to my card, both of us will be hurt.

Till now, I still don't understand your actions. Why did you choose to give up? You don't even know the results, and nobody will, so why did you stamped us as "impossible"? Don't you regret giving up half way? In the past, you always thinks in this pessimistic and unconfident mindset, and how you thinks will eventually affect our future. I have tried to use my positive charge on your negative charge, but you refused to listen. Now, here lies your future, are you finally happy? I'm not.

But if it really makes you happy, I'll step out of your life. However, I can't make myself a stranger. I can't. I just simply can't. That's too........ Normal friends? I shall try... I shall try to control my head to not swivelled around as you passed...and those shameful tears of mine...

I stopped, took a step back, let you carry on with your life, and I'll get stronger in time to come.

说好的幸福呢，你反悔，返回，我该如何呢？守着我的话，还是，跟你一样呢？

2009-12-22T23:56:00.002+08:00

WOOT!!! YAY!!! OH MY GOD!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR TOMORROW TO COME!! THE PRECIOUS BOOK IS WAITING FOR ME IN CENTRAL PUBLIC LIBRARY NOW!!!

MY BELOVED BOOK, I WON'T LET YOU WAIT LONGGGGG!!! I'LL BE RUSHING TO YOU STRAIGHT IN THE MORNING..!!!...ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GO THERE... ARRGHHHHH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHS !!! I THINK I'M GOING MADDDDDDD SOON!!!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHS!!!

2009-12-21T17:08:00.002+08:00

YEAH! I felt so refreshed, after reading Hung's blog.

Guessed how many ex-classmates he had? Near to 4 digits. Imagined how tough is his life. Left his hometown alone, new country. And if these weren't enough, he still has to endure the constantly-changing environment. A new school for almost every year... Oh my god, I don't think I can even go through his first step; Surviving alone. *Cross my fingers for him*

Okay whatever. "CORRINA TAN!!! NO MORE PROCRASTINATION!!! TODAY IS A NICE DAY TO START ON YOuR DuSTY HOLIDAY HOMEWORKS!!!"

But first, let's go bath! :D

P.S. My freaking neighbour is pretty awful! From stepping into my room without permission to trying to make me fed up by imitating my laughter and my words and not to forget that she tried to peep into my things. I tell you, she's seriously bossy and insensitive. I finally understand how my brother feels. I wonder what my sister sees in her.

Oh well, let's cut the crap!!!!...and perhaps...procrastination. (:

2009-12-08T19:32:00.002+08:00

Everything has happened, or rather, is going to happen. It's too late to withdraw now. Too late to pass the baton to another much capable person. Let's just let nature take its own course. We have tried our best, and will still keep trying until tomorrow ends.

All of your intentions are good. I have never doubt that. I appreciate it instead. That's why I don't want to burden all of you. It's YOUR party. You should all enjoy it. I really don't mean to ruin it...

2009-12-05T19:22:00.003+08:00

7.30am wake up.
5 more mins to sleep, pleeeeease...
WAIT!
What?!! XXXX, XXXX and XXXX ?!?!!
TIO SHOCK !!
Cannot sleep anymore.
8am leave house to Harbourfront Station.
9.15am reach Mount Faber for training.
Training freeeeeaking GOOD ...
Steep slopes + Steep & high stairs
At the hardest slope, so tempted to walk, but didn't. However, I don't see any difference between running and walking....
I tell you what...THAT slope is completely meant for vehicles LOR!!!
10.30am training end.
Did you feel raindrops?
GREAT!
Rain heavily until we had to wait for shuttle bus to bring us to Vivo.
Reach Vivo, settle for Food Junction, and ate Padi Thai.
SUPER DELICIOUS !!!
After that, went with Nikki to shop at Mango.
JangWai and the others went to playground.
Bought a plain grey tanktop. Long-sleeve still need to consider.
Then, went Vivomart with Nikki and Shawn to buy drinks.
Purposely walked slowly to kill time to go up and out to join JangWai and the rest in the hot sun. Hahas !
Afterwards, the roof top with water. Okay, what's that called? Sky park? Well, who cares?
In the midst, Terry got angry then left because Kian Chong sabo him. What for sia...?LOL!!
Seriously pretty funny.
Okay, I'm a sadist. Maybe not.
Enough of the water and sun, then went in.
Suddenly, JangWai became mad.
Yeah, randomly suggested to watch movie--A Christmas Carol, 3D version.
Shawn determined not to watch, went home. Bye-Bye. LOL!
Queued so long in cinema, all to find out that tickets were sold out. Zzz!!
This was where the madness started!!!
Quickly went to the machine.
Checked and booked at the machine for the show at Marina Square.
Okay, where's there?
Trusted Kian Chong and took the train from harbourfront, switched to Dhobby ghaut, then finally, Marina Bay...
Got out from Marina Bay...
WOW !!
So empty...Only got constructions...
Where's the freaking Marina Square?
Went to ask the shuttle bus driver where the heck is Marina Square.
He replied,"City Hall mrt."
FAINT!~
And its 4.15pm already.
Show starting in 5mins time!!!
ARGHHH!!!
Kian Chong dashed across to the middle of the road and stopped the taxi in time.
Then he signalled for us, who were still at the pavement.
JangWai ran.
Then me.
And...OUCH!!! NIKKKKKKKKKI!!!!
She SQUASHED me !!!!!
Imagine 4 people got squashed at the back of the taxi.
Then when the taxi turned left, everybody's butts moved to the left, and Kian Chong was squashed!!!
Then when it's right, Nikki was squashed !!!
HAHAS !!! How hilarious !
Reached Marina Square, paid the driver, and dashed.
4.30pm.
Reached the theatre, guess what time?
4.35pm
Movie already started!!!
Missed the front part.
To me, the movie was rated 3/5.
Cannot say not nice, because I was shrieking and laughing during the show. Wait. Nikki TOO. Hahas!!! And my hands were like trying to grab the snow and stars! LOL!!
Cannot say nice, because I don't even get the storyline after the show end and I don't understand the accent...
Then, HOME SWEET HOME !!!
Okay, all right, almost spent 11 hours together with Jang Wai and Nikki today! Hmm..not really Kian Chong. He don't run with me...
So...
BATHE NOW !!!
TOODLES ! :D

2009-11-27T13:14:00.002+08:00

I just visited a discussion board, with its subject about "Price of bilingualism". Here are its prices:

- 拔苗助长
- 望梅止渴
- 叶公好龙
- 一相情愿
- 自相矛盾

Okay, from the word "price", all are definitely not good ones. Whatever. However, I discovered one might apply to me. No, two. First, 叶公好龙. Second, 望梅止渴. Okay, three. Lastly, 自相矛盾.

Hmm...Is chinese hard? Okay, I know that was random. But, I guessed I just got it from the discussion board. ACtually, I really don't know. Or rather, I don't think so. I mean, it all depends whether you want to put in effort or not. Nothing is hard. It all depends on how your mind works. Okay, this really makes me reminds of the past.

When I was young, chinese was always in the "hatelist". I guessed it was more or less due to the english background I have at home. However, the friends that I made were all from chinese background, so I think that was the reason I was motivated to keep up. Okay, the actual turning point was in primary five.

After the streaming in primary four, I was offered the option of Higher Mother Tongue, although my Mother Tongue was poor. I remembered, that time, my mother leave the decision with me. She only said, "Higher mother tongue is tough, but, why don't you give it a try first? How you know you cannot cope when you haven't try?" And so, I decided to take up Higher Mother Tongue. On that day when I made the decision, I promised myself that I will work very hard and never regret, give up.

Starting of primary five, it was seriously not easy. Others got hanyu pinyin in their textbooks to help them with the chinese characters, but, mine only got chinese characters, completely NO hanyun pinyin. Initially, I was really stunned, then I thought to myself, "How can I study this? Worst still, get through this?" In one chapter, more than half of the words were anonymous to me. But, who knows, day by day, my chinese standard was actually improving. (:

In primary six, I still have difficulty in catching up, but, I realised I was starting to develop an interest in chinese. A liking. Before PSLE, I thought I will only get a "Pass" grade for higher mother tongue. Wait, no distinction. But still, managed to secure a Merit. Satisfied.

For English, the story is almost the same.

Now in Secondary Two, I really LOVE my language! And I prefer Mr Edgerton to Mrs Pathy for his proper teaching method in English and he taught me the importance of grammar. Thumbs-up! =D

2009-11-25T13:38:00.003+08:00

All along, I have been thinking that there are no regrets in my life. Is that really so? Not really, I guess.

These few days, unfulfilled dreams haunted me again. I thought I have long gotten rid of it, but, by the look of it, so not. But, really, no point in giving it a go anymore. I'm too old. Bones stiffen. And too late, to begin. Even if I begin now, where will it bring me to? Nowhere. Its job will be just satisfying my years of thirst for it and well, to be frank, a waste of money. If only I have that much of courage and determination in my childhood to insist on my dreams and aspirations, maybe I will be somewhere in life now. And the money, I swear, it will never ever gone down the drain. What big words...but, it is more or less a fact for the money part, I guess.

I remembered clearly...Once or twice, I have brought it up. However, my parents just shrugged it off. "A waste of money". Their Answer. In four words. Maybe add in another 8 words. "How will it help you in your future?" There. I knew I was at a losing point. I was not being practical. Totally not. They were right. Although I still held on it for several months, nearly a year, I dared not voiced out anymore. Soon, secondary school work pushed it to the back of my mind.

Looking back now, a pang hit me. No, they were wrong. No, no, they ARE wrong. And I realised something: I have not given it up. It has been a long time since. Two years plus. Hello, Corrina Tan, what are you thinking of? Why haven't you forget about it? Do you ever think their mindsets have changed? Or do you think you are so free? C'mon girl! You have an "O" level the year after and you want to take up night class. Can you even cope in your studies and CCA first? No, right? Then why are you driving up to the idea of figure skating and dancing again? It is totally ridiculous.

Yeah...No... It is not ridiculous. Just that...it may sounds ridiculous. Perhaps I'm drifting off from reality again. That explains why I did not dare broach the matter up, right? But, you have to have faith and confidence in yourself. Nothing is impossible…

Hello! WAKE UP! This is not about whether it is a lack of faith, confidence or possibility. This is about reality. You know how hard is reality, eh? Reality lives 24 hours a day. And, ONLY 24 hours. No more. You've got to get this point STRAIGHT. And dreams are dreams. Reality is reality. You have to draw a line between them. They are NOT the same. You can have your dreams. But, you have to be realistic too.

But, what says dreams made what Thomas Edison is, what the world is now...

Yes, yes. Totally right. Unfortunately, it so doesn't apply in your case. Forget about it, seriously. The feeling is not real......

And so... You should have guessed which side won... The devil or The angel...

Should just lunch on something to make myself busy eh... Bye.

2009-11-12T19:42:00.002+08:00

ARGH! That feeling is active again! Woot! When was the last time it was active? Probably months or a year, when I was in sec 1, for as far as I could remembered.

The images of sprinting fiercely down the 100m lane, giving all for the last 100m of 800m, beating other runners, collapsing at the end of the race, walking proudly up to the stage, and finally, a golden medal being wore on you. Aww...isn't this the nicest feeling on earth? I swear I will be mad if that happens in 3-4 months time. Wait. Have I mentioned that this is only my dream for the 2010 Jurong Sec Sports Day? Chey ! At least it is an accomplishment okays. And quite a huge one for me.

I mean, well, seriously, imagine how hard it must be to overtake all the sec 4s, especially WanPing. And the people from our school can really sprint. Next year will be a very challenging year! Plus, I will surely be in tip-top form at that point of time because National Cross will be just over.

Fine, I may not be a sprinter, but, it has been a dream for me since primary school. I MUST take part in it, even though if it means that I will come in last and throw face. At least I have tried and truely enjoyed it, right? I don't see why pride should stand in my way of happiness.

Okay, enough said.
B GIRLS, HERE I COME ! :D

2009-11-11T12:48:00.005+08:00

Worried. Stressed. Confused. Ecstatic. Dejected. These are what I am feeling now.

Ecstatic, because I got into 3-4, and those people who got into 3-4 are very hardworking and helpful too. They can coach me and lend me their notes for exams and tests, of course. Hahas!

Dejected, because I still have to take geography. Although I scored A1 for geography, but I DON'T LIKE it at all. Seriously. Take a look at my results. I always scored 50 marks in sec 1, and I only buck up for it for the sake of not pulling down my overall okay. Furthermore, I am not offered to take Biology. Although I scored crap for my Biology, but I love it... That is where it leads to confusion, stressed and perhaps, a bit of worried.

Based on my science results, it is so not possible to take triple science. Able to be offered double science is already quite a miracle, so I will not appeal. That is where I am wondering if I should take Biology as a privite candidate. If I take Biology as a privite candidate, it might help me in my future and also continued my passion. However, in this case, I will be taking up 10 subjects, including higher mother tongue, and the journey might not be easy. From my mother's mouth, she struggled through the night's course. I have no confidence that I can cope. At this point of time, it is already quite a chore to balance out CCA and studies. And if I decided to go on as a privite candidate, there will be a risk. Either I really improved on my time management to flawless and excel or my O level's results will suffer.

Another partial reason for worried is, because totally different class now. Have to work much more harder to close the gaps up and maintain it.

Seriously, I can already sense the torture and rough patch of the next two years. Next year already must prepare for the chinese o level while coping with all the many subjects with the flaws foundation.

Jiayous...
Wait, not enough power.
Jiayous!
Still not enough power.
JIAYOUS!!! :D

PICTURES for 06 Nov.

2009-10-29T09:27:00.003+08:00

SEE I'M SO BUSY !!! HAHAAS!!

Friday: - Parents Sec 2 streaming talk
- Work
- Sister's birthday

Saturday: - Yi Tian's birthday party
- Night Safari?
(Should I go? If I go, i have to get out from yi tian's party half-way lehhh...)

Streaming talk just over. More confused. Triple science only allow 20 people to take lor.... CRAP!

2009-10-26T23:07:00.002+08:00

Nothing to post.
Exams results were unimaginably good?
Except for the science and perhaps maths.
TWO major subjects...zzz
However, overall, top 4 in class and top 37 in whole level !!!! :D

Anyway, work yesterday was SUPER fun !!
Jang wai, yinting and I were like SUPER AUNTIEEE !!!
HAHAS !!!
But...sad thing... hands injured...
Must apply more moisturiser!!!
HAHAS !!!

I wonder if using hp to blog will cost $$. Things are back to n0rmal n0w. Waking up in th m0rning will be like facing a beautiful world. Trng 2m0ro!

2009-10-20T21:36:00.000+08:00

Im using my handph0ne to blog n0w ! Wo0t !~

2009-10-20T21:34:00.000+08:00

2009-10-19T08:21:00.002+08:00

A change in mind. My decision is shaky now. I cannot decide whether to follow the rabbit's decision or mine. Your actions are really...confusing too. You asked me to move on, but what about you? Are those exactly the truth? What kind of feelings are yours? Guilt or...more than that?

My mind is going to burst soon. Perhaps a run with Jang Wai and Reshmi now can help me clear my mind, makes me feel better. It will all be all right after the run...

2009-10-18T00:05:00.002+08:00

Buck up, Corrina Tan Li Ying! Stop making everybody worried.

2009-10-17T13:13:00.003+08:00

你的绘画凌乱着
Your drawing is in a mess

在这个时刻
 At this moment in time

我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 
I thought of the pigeon beside the fountain

甜蜜散乱了
The sweetness has
scattered.

情绪莫名的拉扯
A mysterious tugging of my emotions

我还爱你呐 
I am still in love with you

伴你断断续续唱着歌 
 Accompanying your singing here and there

假装没事了.
Pretend that everything is now alright.

时间过了走了 
Time has passed and gone

爱情面临选择
 Love is faced with choices

你冷了却了我哭了
Youve become cold and Ive cried

一开始的不快乐
The unhappiness at the beginning

你用卡片拭写着 
You had wrote them on a post card

有些爱只给到这真的痛了. 
 Sometimes love can only be like this and it is really painful.

怎麽了. 你累了. 说好的. 幸福呐. 
What happened. Youre tired. Hadnt we agreed. To have happiness.

我懂了. 不说了. 爱淡了. 梦淹了. 
I understood. Dont say anymore.
My dreams have sunk.

开心与不开心. 一一叙说着. 你在不舍. 
Being happy and not, narrating them one after another, you cant bear it.

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻. 我都还记得 
Those feelings of love are too deep. I still remember them.

你不等了. 说好的. 幸福呐.
Youre not waiting anymore. Hadnt we agreed. To have happiness.

我错了. 泪干了. 放手了. 后悔了. 
I have wronged. My tears had dried. I had to let go. And I had regret.

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着. 
Only that musical box of memories that continue to play itself.

要怎么停呢? 
How can I make it stop?

怎麽了. 你累了. 说好的. 幸福呐. 
What happened. Youre tired. Hadnt we agreed. To have happiness.

我懂了. 不说了. 爱淡了. 梦淹了. 
I understood. Dont say anymore. Our Love had weakened. My dreams have sunk.

我都还记得
I still remember them.

Nice right, these lyrics?

2009-10-09T13:57:00.004+08:00

If one day, someone take away something from me, I will hate him or Her, forever. Even if I still continued to smile and laugh with them, there will still be an unbreakable invisible barrier between us and the grudge will still be implanted in my heart, always. I will never ever forgive the person. I have hated the person who took my favourite pencil in my primary two chinese class(I still remembered his name and he is now in my school), I am hating a person who has recently taken something away from me for 2 weeks and almost took this thing away from me permanently and I will not stop hating a person in time to come if he or She lands on my "hatelist".

Of course, I am able to forgive and forget almost all the things, but, some things just cannot be neither forgiven, nor forgotten. And I assured you, these things brought me pain beyond pain and numbness.

Although the sun is scorching, the temperature is 33 degrees celcius and it feels like 40 degrees, I cannot feel any warmth as I dragged my feet on the "path of peace", heading home. Instead, my whole body felt icy cold and I shivered for no reason. Yeah, no reason, no wind, no rain, no fever, no illness, just completely nothing. How I wish I could just collapse into warmth... After twenty minutes, I reached my destination. The open space near the playground. I remembered that the open space once was covered with thick bushes, to let me scream my lungs out and no one will ever hear it from the opposite. However, now, the bushes have been gotten rid of, and what I am facing was a newly-renovated high school with students walking about...How am I supposed to leave my pain here...in front of them?

I pushed the thought away and retraced my steps back, more painfully than ever. Not even the bushes wants to listen to me now. Once again, I advanced aimlessly and I found myself facing a purple door behind a purple gate 10 metres away from me. As I advanced towards the purple door which always fail not to give out a smell of warmth, my limbs grew weaker. It could no longer hold on as I took a step inside the opened purple door......

P.S. My instinct and sixth sense is activated again...It never lies...Another painful thing is on the way...

2009-10-03T08:44:00.002+08:00

Guess where am I now? IN SCHOOL LIBRARY! Yeah, on a Saturday morning. I have just finished my english oral and well, its quite easy and fun because I treated Mr Edgerton like a normal friend and just chatted with him throughout the conversation until he has to stop me due to time constraint, but I am not rather sure if I did well for the picture one. At the end, he just commented that I did pretty well, but I am not sure if he also said this to the others.

Oh yeah, talking about this week, Thursday was so memorable. No, not because of that... Is because I scored 5 points for the game !! AHH ! HAHAS ! When I was in front writing the answers on the whiteboard that time, my hand was trembling trememdously and very fast, I cannot help it, okay... It is like out-of-control! I even jumped up and well, let's say, shrieked after teacher said mine was right. Yeah, I know it is pretty UNGLAM. LOL!

2009-09-29T18:34:00.003+08:00

OUCH ! Teeth and jaw ached ! My throat got a swollen lump ! Braces....and I bet tomorrow or the day after , I will be down with a sore throat... Atrocious ! I totally cannot eat anything! Which food is actually SOFT and NOT HEATY?!!! Dont mention porridge ! I DISLIKE porridge! EWWWWW.... Furthermore, I cannot even laugh or argue with people or get agitated, otherwise the freaky wire will poke my mouth... PAIN ! ARGH ! FASTER RECOVERRRRRRRRRRRR ! I hope the first 3 days after the change of braces faster passed!

THINGS TO DO!!!

FIRST, MUST GO VISIT THE DOCTOR IN 45 MINUTES TIME.
SECOND, CALL UP THE DENTAL TOMORROW TO COMPLAIN!!!
(If Weibin sees this, I bet he is going to say whoever is my dentist very unlucky because I am a very difficult patient who has a lot of needs! HAHAS!)

P.S. Today is only the 2nd day...

2009-09-22T23:58:00.002+08:00

Stuck. Absolutely. The feeling is like being ripped apart from both sides. Not again. I just hope it will be you who ceased it. Don't leave me in disappointment.(:

200th post

2009-09-20T13:47:00.002+08:00

I know there is a high chance of ending up in that spot,
I know that all my efforts, all my holding on, will maybe one day in turn to shatter me into pieces,
I know that I am risking myself,
I know that if I called everything off now, maybe I will be better off,
I know that if I "commit suicide" before my doomday arrives, it will be better, because at least I am willing, at least I will not have to know how my doomday comes.
I know that if I continued to climb the shaky "tower", it will still not stop wobbling just because of my perseverance, instead, the gravitational energy will just keep building up and the fall will be harder.
I know all of these, but, still my mind, my heart, they just refused to neither stop, nor slow down. I rather someone finished me off. I rather know how my harsh and painful doomday arrives.
If my efforts really does not pay off, I have only myself to blame. I am just plain foolish to try to survive in a battlefield without any weapons.

?? emotions, 1 of the best trainings

2009-09-18T18:23:00.003+08:00

Nice reflection, right? Yin Ting so pro!!!

Perhaps today's training is one of the best trainings I have had. Although it is so much tougher than the normal ones; the girls have to follow the guys' pace or rather Mr Edgerton, it is certainly worth it. In the midst of the 30 minutes run in the school, the ex-senior decided that we should pause and do 10 push-ups before resuming the run, which is really more fun than running all the way. (:

Then, during the speed circuits, Mr Edgerton was running behind me and he said that I should not let him catch me before I reached 4th floor. First time, he did not catch me and he sighed out loud, but, the next he did and he was esctatic. LOL?

Lost in the contemplation. Are these the signs that history is going to repeat itself again? I don't know, and I don't want to know. The answer will be to the extreme. Or perhaps, there will be no answer at all. Should I sacrifice some understandings in exchange for calm waves? Is it really so hard to read from my expression? Maybe I do hide my expression well or the mixed emotions cannot help been washed away by the rare opportunity. Maybe... "Hello! Hello!" The repeated "hellos" interrupted my unweaving mind. Right left i turned, there was nobody at all. No, not supernatural. Looking up, two kids were at the window, waving down to me. Surprised, I waved back, the sides of my lip went up, not realising the fatigue, confusion and pessimistic thoughts have suddenly vanished. How innocent and naive they are...their worlds so free...free from the complicated mind and tied down of endless confusions... How I wish I could be them. Yeah, naive. That is exactly what I should do now.

2009-09-14T16:35:00.003+08:00

First, It is just another bad day.

Second, think what you want, say what you what, do what you want, but still nothing will change.

Third, deja vu, just that it happens on a different person. A heavy price to pay.

Dreams

2009-09-13T16:49:00.002+08:00

I seldom have dreams. Even if have, it will never be a total of more than 2 dreams in a row, except for yesterday night. And it was 5 dreams! Somemore, the dreams are so w-e-i-r-d.

First dream, is in class 2-2. I remembered there was a golf car(or what you call that?) and YaoHer and friends drove it around the class. The whole class made a racket. Suddenly, one person announced that the next door teacher was coming. In a rush, everybody went back to their seats. Then the teacher started scolding and Yaoher and friends owned up, but teacher never punished them.

Second dream, still in class 2-2. A couple(cannot say out the name) got caught by the teacher for holding hands. Meanwhile, somebody and I sat together and we looked at each other with eyebrows raised.

Third dream, still in class 2-2. I willingly accompanied somebody get punished. LOL?

Fourth dream, my ex-_ _ _ _ _ transferred to Jurong Sec, somemore in 2-2!!! AH! I was shocked. Then Wei Bin, Jang Wai etc knew that he was my ex-_ _ _ _ _. Then when he entered, they kept on making THAT noises. In the end, I wavered动摇. AH! But really, in reality, I will not one. And that is never going to happen. No such coincidence. How can 080909 + 1910 + Donut Empire + 04 + Escalator + today newspaper + 178 not strong enough for a normal human being..?

Last dream, I rode in a motorcycle and arrived at a shopping mall. The place looked so like Raffles City. I quarrelled with my mum over a......bubbletea because she bought bubbleteas for my brother and my sister, but not for me, so...yeah. Then at the time, the mall got a celebration. Then my mum did not know and accidentaly sat on Lee Kuan Yew's seat. She still did not budge when he stared at her. Then he said something, I think it goes like this, " I am the minister mentor. How dare you take my seat..." He just looked and sounded intimidating. HAHAS! Funny!

2009-09-09T22:36:00.003+08:00

It was like a dream, a beautiful one. Really, no words can describe the perfection of it. Simple, yet so...perfect. Even when I closed my eyes, I dared not imagined the illusion of such beautiful moment. And now, I am seriously pushing the limits, greedily, selfishly. Girl, breathe slow. You know you do not want to mess up with perfection.

How hilarious and extraordinary it is to talk about a stuff and the next thing you see behind you, is the stuff. Really, it did happen...and we laughed it off. My mind is the best camera ever alive.

2009-09-07T19:38:00.002+08:00

Anticipation.
First time in 23 hours 35 minutes

2009-09-05T13:47:00.002+08:00

You know i still LOVE you baby,
And it will never change

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Why are you trying to push me away?
you know that I hate it,
you ignore what im saying
Why are you trying to send me to other?
You push me away like a little
each day why?

Saying that this is for my own good
Saying that you are just not worth it
Please, stop it right now coz'
you know me enough that i will come back to you no matter what!

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

All the pushing won't change my feelings
I am happy to have you,
more than willing to please you
i'm begging you please
don't walk away from me
Coz' i can't be happy away
from your side

Saying that this is for my own good
Saying that you are just not worth it
Please, stop it right now coz'
you know me enough that i will come back to you no matter what!

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I don't want nobody, body
I don't want nobody, body
Life is unperfect without seeing you
I cannot have anyone but you... ahhh

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you
I want nobody, nobody but you
I want no one else but you
Can't have anyone but you
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Rap:
BacK to the days when we were
so young and wild and free
Everything we had back then
was like a dream
If only i could turn back time
Why do you keep on pushing me away?
why do you push me away?
I don't want nobody, nobody,
nobody. nobody but you

2009-09-03T23:05:00.002+08:00

3rd September 2009, 9.38pm
Promise, broken. Numb.
It is already painful to see one. You add on to the number. Now, two.

2009-08-14T22:18:00.003+08:00

This whole week is really very hectic. The accumulations of problems and results of tests tires me out thoroughly. Once or twice, I could feel the breaking point and even, the shocking will of accomplishing impossibilities. Although I had managed to pull through, but I know I still have a long way ahead, for the wound is so much deeper than what we had thought. It still eat on me now and then.

Both of us are just too exhausted that we messed up today. There will be a better tomorrow.

2009-08-13T21:55:00.004+08:00

Once bitten, Twice shy. I did cringe. Yeah, I admit I am scared. The painful memory floated back to my mind to remind and warn me again. Who will want to risk having a second taste of the bitterness? I had a hard time overcoming the first one alone. I am not tempted to let history repeat itself again.

However, the phone rang again and, this time, the words that I saw touched my heart. God had helped us, helped us to make the path to walk. He have started off with a lie which changed our lives. I am confident that I will keep my end of the promise, to try my best to get rid of whatever that is stopping me from advancing, but, will you?

2009-08-08T14:46:00.004+08:00

Sorry for MIA-ing so long. The common tests, endless homeworks and piles of projects really kept me busy from day to night, leaving no free time. Furthermore, I am already sec 2 -- streaming year is this year. Already wondering how well I will fare. *I don't know who is that pretty girl in my blog at the left there and how to get rid of her.*

Common tests had mostly been cleared on this week. However, still left Maths and Higher Mother Tongue common tests next week. Better stop talking about academics, otherwise I will really become more nerd. I'm already so nerd. ):

Although this week is the common tests week, but to me, its more than that. This week seemed to be the peak of my rollar coaster life instead. Those moments, how can I possibly forgot those sweet and precious moments? -- Even when I'm in the mid of my common test, I can still smile. 但是，不懂为什么快乐像冰淇淋口中，融化的特别冲动。(However, I do not understand why do happiness melt so fast like an ice-cream in the mouth.) The higher the rollar-coaster go, the easier you reached the lowest point of the rollar coaster.

The day before, everything had been going so well. From playing during the National Day concert to relaxing at Taman Jurong Green with Reshmi, Jang Wai and Marcus, it was so fun, no, not until nine plus and later in the night. When I saw the ______, I slowed down from a fast pace. The first thing I did when I reached home was to throw myself flat on the bed. No, its not due to exhaustion. I had not mistaken the emotions at all. They were so similar to the first time when it struck me.

Just then,
I told you,
I thought you were different,
different from my nightmare,
but,
you proved me wrong.
I was wrong that you had not doubted me.
I was wrong that you was a dream.
Now,
you apologised,
but,
why do you apologised?
Is it because of the fact,
that you had convinced yourself and you are happy,
or,
that you just wanted to make me happy?

There is a clear line drawing these two apart.

I admit to myself,
I am so confused on what I should apply to this complicated situation.

2009-07-03T19:12:00.003+08:00

Today got AYG presentation.
Actually I did not need to come to school,
but I could not bear to miss class,
so I came and left at 10am, after knowing my seating arrangement.
No comments about the seating arrangement,
but I had been hoping against hope that I can be placed in front...

The AYG went on quite smoothly.
I also met a couple of basketballers from other countries.
They were like...WOW! So TALL !!!
I am like 3/4 of their height...
I even dressed as a Qatar girl and two guys from overseas were amazed at my dressing that they gave me their BEACHBALL BADGE and the lion only shook my hand!!!
In all, received quite few positive responses.
Woot!!!!!
The Qatar ambassador was also very good and friendly, although, if he does not smile, he will look rather fierce and scary...at least that is what I thought in the first place.

It was a wrong step, a wrong decision.
What is so good about snapping people?
Why is it that others do not experience what I am experiencing?
Isn't it unfair?
Why are you always doing this?
Although I had experienced this before, but its only for one year, and one year is good enough for me to remember in my entire life, even now, I can still remember the details clearly even though its already 7 years, so what's more FOUR years...
Sigh..
This is going to be a chore...
A wolf in a sheep's clothing.
If only... ...

2009-06-28T14:24:00.002+08:00

Imuststudyhard
Iwillstudyhard
Ipromisetostudyhard
Historycannotrepeatiselfagain
cannotcannotrepeatitself
Icannotletdownothersandmostimportantlymyself
Ireallycannotanymore

Dream Phone

2009-06-17T12:13:00.004+08:00

Eww !
In my opinion, the blue colour is just plain ugly...
RED ROCKS !
I'm totally in love with this phone !!!
I WANT THIS PHONE !!!!
SAMSUNG ULTRA TOUCH !!!!

6H Outing'09

2009-06-16T21:21:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, was 6H Outing.
Everybody was already mentally prepared that only 1/4 of the class would turn up.
Sadly, 3 of them had something on last minute so......
Left 6.
> Richie
> Yi Tian
> Zhi Xiang
> Adam
> Edeline
> ME!

This time, I was not late at all.
See, I so punctual.
Before assembling at Lakeside MRT, I was so desperate and frantically calling KeHui and Terry to borrow their volleyball.
In the end, Superman KeHui to the rescue !!!
She is so kind, she lent me her volleyball although its...well...disfigured.
But, I did not mind (:

Initially,
when I first reached the MRT station,
the guys very bad..
They moved away from me like I was some kind of virus...
Every step I took, they moved further.
Fortunately,
Adam and Edeline arrived then they stopped acting so anti-social..

They also changed quite a lot.
For Richie,
his face is sharper and he looked like an anorexic person.
Please luh, EAT more!
LOL
For Yi Tian,
Oh my god...
I am so disgusted at the mention of his name...
You know what..
He becomes horny and pervertic...
Maybe not to that extent, but still..
The whole day, he was rattling on about the WHITE STRIPES AND WHITE PATCHES !!
Never mind, you people do not have to know the meaning.
And for gods sake,
He treated me like a boy...
Really, which part of me makes me look like a boy?
Okay, I'll tell you how he treat me like a boy...
He kept on grabbing a handful of sand and put in my tanktop...
Luckily, I wore two tanktops..........
And he is really VERY OBSERVANT in the WRONG thing...
Hmph!
Let's just change the topic..........

The craziest things that they had done to me on yesterday were to throw me in the water and lied to me that my specs had dropped in the sea and gone missing...
They played a prank on me !
Made me swim here swim there...
Grr!
LOL

The most entertaining thing is Adam clinging on to Zhi Xiang.
Poor Zhi Xiang!
He tried to break free from Adam's hug.
But sadly, cannot.
Then Adam, Edeline and me used a toy stick to 打猪(Beat pig)!!!
Zhi Xiang is the pigggg !!!
Adam still want to put Zhi Xiang in 竹笼!!
Hahas !

The guys also very funny...
They made a toilet bowl with the sand...
LOL
On this day,
Richie finally stepped into the water...
And we buried Zhi Xiang !!
LOL

After some games,
we went to bath...
The boys bathed at the Siloso toilet while Edeline and I went to the Palawan one because it was quite empty...
Guess what..
The guys waited outside the toilet for us for 30 MINUTES !!!
HAHAS !
They all kept on nagging us to be faster...
SO MOTHERLY !
LOL

Dinner was so ROMANTIC
LOL
We went up to the opened space at the top of Vivo and put our feet in the water then eat subway !!
The ambience and the scenery is so nice lor...
And some of us dropped food in the water ..
Hahas !
We polluted the water...
Lucky no fishes..
LOL
After that,
we took the train to Jurong East then from there, take bus 98 to accompany YiTian.
And guess who we saw?
JANG WAI!
Coincidence...

When alighting......
Actually I wanted to alight at Lakeside Primary Bus-stop
But, Richie Ling Ling Ling kept on saying,
" Trust me! The next bus-stop is nearer! "
I had no choice but to follow him...
In fact, he talked nonsense!
The bus-stop nearer to his house, he could go back home first...
And during the bus ride,
Zhi Xiang went to ransack Richie's wallet,
and he found the 免死金牌 !!
HAHAS !
I did not know Richie scared of death so much...
LOL

Actually, I realised something about the 6H Outing.
The lesser the people, the more hyper we are!
LOL
But dont worry,
next time will have MORE people!

2009-06-14T00:32:00.002+08:00

Yeah,
I finally know why sometimes we reminisce the past or memories...
The reason is simple.
History is repeating itself again.
It's not a bad thing, neither a good.

When history tries to repeat itself,
you will be stuck in the sticky past again, especially bad ones.
Maybe some people can relate to what I am talking at least...
It was so unexpectable, very.
No doubt at the wrong timing too.
It is a dilemma to figure out whether this is a good or bad sign.

Nobody knows what the future holds.
I wish I know.
I guess......
It is time to put my self-control in good use.
It is time to recover myself.
It is time for the stage, for the acting.
Act well, girl.
Best, dont even try to act,
just forget everything that belongs to "Once Upon A Time"...
Time to give myself a nice test.

2009-06-12T00:23:00.002+08:00

I don't get it
Why can't some people settle for peace?
Why some people just cannot put themselves into others' shoes?
People put in so much effort
No, not only effort, also money and precious time
In the end, what did they get back in return?
Some unappreciative fools' complaints
Not only that,
Let's say...
They decided that they are most compatible to this job,
And ignored people's hard work and do everything from scratch by themselves again

Why are they not even at least slightly grateful?
No, I did not even expect them to be grateful
They should search their own souls
Who are the ones who gave up on the jobs in the first place?
And now,
Who are the ones saying we are going overboard and that they never quit in the first place?
For gods sake,
I find this simply ridiculous!
I don't know whether to laugh or be angry...

I do not know why we can't just reach to an agreement
Ha, I think I should have known the reason by now
Right, I don't think I am going to make anyone mad, not now, yet.

2009-06-10T01:27:00.002+08:00

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away
If he doesnt want u, nothing can make him stay
Stop making excuses for a man & his behavior
Heartbreaks last as long as u want and cut as deep as u allow them to go
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks, but to learn from them
When it rains, look for the rainbow

I was just being random..
I found this somewhere..
And it looks meaningful?

"C Div" Outing

2009-06-07T17:27:00.005+08:00

Don't Place A Fish In Front Of A Hungry Boy,
And Take It Away When He Is About To Eat.

I Kept Silent For 8 Reasons:
1. Bored
2. Sad
3. Thinking Of Something
4. Curbing Myself
5. Respect
6. Disapproval
7. Tolerating
8. Angry

When I kept silent yesterday,
It was because of No.1, 6, 7 & 8.

It is the same logic,
To hint and create suspense for one about something,
but the next moment,
tell someone that the something cannot be revealed.
This is simply very crude.
When did humans become so evil?

Leaving someone out,
who you claimed to be one of your important ones when you found a place like heaven.
What the crap!
I disliked this kind of treatment!
You might as well get a slave for a friend in this case!

When you want to give people heaven, its really heavenly.
But when you want to give people hell, its really worse than hell.

If it is your first day that you know me,
I will forgive you..
But its not,
so you should have know that,
when I said NO, it mean YES.

Yesterday,
the sun was warm and radiant..
The place was fabulous with the weather.
Everything suits my wishes.
The warmth of the sun can easily transformed itself into my warmth of happiness.
But, why, it just could not seem to, no matter how much I tried...
Maybe it was because of the above mentioned.

Probably god thought that these were not enough for me,
so even when the day was coming to a close,
the torture still did not come to a stop.
What the!
The sight was unbelievable,
so unbelievable that I could not stand it.
All these were maybe too much for me so,
I decided that I was exhausted and called it a day.
What a successful liar I am.
Everybody believed in my word "tired".
The worst thing,
some people tried to cover their mistakes with excuses that I was tired.
Great excuse!
Well Done!
I should have applauded you on the spot.

Yesterday was memorable,
memorable for the bad thing,
for being such a bad day.
In any case,
no matter how bad the day passed,
I still have to thank my boy-captain, HaoRong, for supporting regardless of the great difference between the ratio of the boys and girls.

Other than the bad side of the day,
I still hold some humorous memories with me.
Due to the crowd in the shower room,
we had no choice but to hang a hose on top of the toilet cubicle and bathed...
That sounds rather pathetic, right?

The Only Wish I have now is that I hope I will enjoy the remaining outings at Sentosa.

A Happy Day,
Is Determined By The People Around One.
A Happy Day,
Is Judged By The Mood Of One.

2009-06-01T21:15:00.003+08:00

2-2'09 Class Outing

Venue : Sentosa
Date : 20 June 2009
Day : Saturday

Meet at Lakeside MRT , 11am SHARP!

Please bring along toiletries, extra clothes, snacks and balls.
Regardless of whether if its volleyball, soccer ball, just Bring !

Inform me if you are going. Otherwise, we will not wait for you.

2009-06-01T14:09:00.003+08:00

What is your:
Real name - Corrina Tan Li Ying
Nickname - Nah.
Horoscope - Aries.
Male or female - Female.
Primary school - Lakeside Primary School.
Secondary school - Jurong Secondary School.
JC/Poly - Havent luh...
Hair colour - Black.
Hair lenght - Long.
Volume - So-so.

Do you prefer:
Sweats or jeans - Sweats.
Phone or camera - Phone.
Health free - Huh?
Drink or smoke - Erm.. Neither?
Do you have a crush on someone - Hmm.. I dont Know?
Eat or drink - Both.
Piercings - Yes.. One on my ear..
Tattoos - Not

Have you:
Been in an airplane - NO. So pathetic...
Been in a relationship - Hmm.. Guess?
Been in a car accident - What? And I am still alive kicking now?
Been in a fist fight - Not.. I am not that violent
Kissed in the snow - I wished...But Singapore got snow meh?
Celebrate halloween - Yeah.. My friend's bday.
Had you heart broken - Yeah
Went over the minutes in your cellphone - Yeah
Someone questioned you sexual orientation - Huh? Not..
Come out of the closet - Yeah
Gotten pregnant - NO
Had an abortion - NO
Did something you regretted - Yeah... Everybody had...
Broke a promise - Yeah
Hid a secret - Of Course! Or else why is there such thing as Dirty Little Secrets ..LOL
Pretended to be happy - Yeah, lots
Met someone who changed your life - Yeah
Pretended to be sick - Erm.. Not sure?
Left the country - For what? Holiday..
Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it - Yeah?
Cried over a silliest thing - No
Ran a mile - Yeah
Went to the beach with your friends - Yeah! SENTOSA!
Stay single whole year - Who doesnt..
Hold a knife for defence - Erm.. Sword?
Run away from home? - No
Killed somebody - No
Broken somebody's heart - Yeah, Sorry
Been arested - Yeah, By Officer JANGWAI LOL
Cried when somebody died - No?
First piercing - Yeah Ear
First best friend - Jasmine Ng Jia Min
First award - Storytelling?
First crush - Erm.. What you think?
First vacation - Malaysia
Last person you talked to - JangWai
Last person you texted to - Wei Sheng
Last person you watch movie with - Edeline
Last food you ate - MACDONALD!
Last movie you watch - I forgot!
Last song you listened to - Love Actually
Last thing you bought - MACDONLAD!
Last person you hug - JangWai..She just did that...We are couples!

Your favourite:
Food - I dunno..
Drink - I dunno..
Clothing - LOTS!
Books - Twilight, Harry Potter etc etc
Songs - LOTS!
Flower - Roses are red, Violets are Blue, My Love For You is always True.. NICE?
Colours - White, Turquoise, ALL
Movie - I dunno..
Phrase - True Enough..
Subjects - Maths, Essay Writing

What are you:
Eating - Your head.
Drinking - Saliva
About to do - SHOPPING! MAKE-OVER FOR _____ ___ !
Listening to - En Quan's Songs and Jangwai's Voice
Planing for tmr - Training
Waiting for - En quan to stop singing !

Planned your:
Future - What future..
Kids/n.o of kids - 3/4
Marriage - HOW I KNOW
Careers - Journalist?

Which one:
Lips or eyes - Eyes
Love or like - Erm.. Both?
Romantic or spontaneous - Romantic
Nice abs or arms - Abs
Sensitive or loud - Loud
Hook up or serious relationship - Serious relationship
Trouble-maker or hesistant - Hesistant
Lost glasses or contacts - Lost glasses

Do you believe in:
Yourself - Yeah
Miracles - Hmm.. Maybe? Maybe not?
Love at first sight - Not
Heaven - Maybe? Maybe not?
Santa Claus - Hahas, funny
Sex on first date - WHAT?!!
Kiss on first date - Slowly does it
Is there a person you want to be with now - Yeah! Jang Wai !
Are you happy with your life - Yeah, contented!
Believe in god - Idk..

Tag 7 people to do this quiz
1) Anyone.
2) Anyone.
3) Anyone.
4) Anyone.
5) Anyone.
6) Anyone.
7) Anyone.

2009-06-01T13:02:00.003+08:00

My face turned red for three reasons:
(1) Embarrassment
(2) Anger
(3) During training

A conflict after a conflict
Never ending

Finally solved everything and then it started all over again
Yes, all over again
Its so tedious, at least, not for you, but, for me
Yes, I got never ending stuffs for me...
And you added on to the pile of it
How am I supposed to solve all..
I have no idea..

I know I had made a promise
A promise should not be broken
I know I am in the wrong
I realised the mistake
I felt out-and-out guilty
That explains why I am quitting
I pulled myself out from the team instead
I am not trying to act noble
I just don't want a conflict to start again

I experienced the level of torture I had to go through in a conflict
It was very tough, very stressful,
A few strands of white hair are growing, I know
Before the race,
After the race,
In the night,
The conflict still went on and on
You just refused to let me off
You know how many times I had to gulp down mugs of water to cool myself down?
You know how many times I wished to let out all my frustration and just blow my top?
You know how many times I took in deep breath?
You know how many times my face turned red?
(In this case, my face turned red for the cause of anger)
No, you dont know...

Do you know I am a hot-tempered person?
But I know that two hot heads will just result into a fight, a very fierce one
So, most of the times, I just controlled myself (although my face gave away my anger)
And also I know that when a hot head faced another hot head,
one of the hot head must gave in and used the soft method
So, fine.
I controlled myself from using the hard method although so much I wanted

For the first conflict,
Its actually your fault(although I apologised profusely and told you it was my fault)
You are the one who said it personally that,
you do not want to participate in long distance anymore,
YOU DO NOT WANT ! (Sorry, I had to highlight this)
But you made this so clear that it etched in my mind.
So how can I forget it?
You blamed it on me,
Blamed me why I did not ask you first...
PUH-LEASE
I was in a very difficult position
Coach and Captains were there looking at me, pressurizing me with their eyes.
Do you get it?
They wanted me to be decisive and quickly came into a conclusion within minutes
Do you feel the pressure in the spotlight?
No, You don't, You don't.

For that second conflict,
Yes, It was my fault.
That is why I pulled out willingly.
I am not showing any pity or whatever crap.
I dont know luh...
Its so complicated...

I am going to end it here and go do quizzzzzzzzzz ! :D

I have had enough on my plate!

2nd Cross-Country Medal

2009-05-28T21:02:00.005+08:00

Finally Can Cross Out One Of My Wishlist

Jurong will win!
Jurong will win!
Jurong had won!
STOP SINGING luh WeiSheng!
LOLS!

WeiSheng so noisy !
Kept on singing these in the bus

But it is a fact.
Jurong really won this time!
C DIVISION somemore!
I LOVE C DIVISION!...even the boys

For C Girls: 1ST RUNNER-UP
For C Boys: CHAMPION
Other than winning the medals,
we also got won $10 MacDonalds voucher for each of us!
Oh...Cannot bear to use it!
Feel like keeping it for memorial...
Hahas..

C Girls:

> Me
> Jang Wai
> Jia Xin
> Shi Mei
> Harriel

C Boys:

> Wei Sheng
> Kanessan
> Yeow Pang(Shawn)---- Hahas!
> Sean
> Hong Liang

Woots!
Captain HaoRong is also PROUD of us!
Clap Clap!

Till now,
Already got 2 medals for Cross-Country.
3 more to my target!
JIAYOUS!

Today,
I very forgetful too...
I forgot to have my breakfast before the race...
I am pathetic!
Argh!
Lols...

After race,
we went to bath.
Then after bathing,
JangWai went to dry herself up in the sun so that her hair would dry before she went back to class for lessons...
Yeah, when her hair dry, my hair still wet...
Then when I walked in the classroom,
it was so scary...
Many pairs of eyes stared at me...
Derek also one kind one..
Anyhow made unwanted noise pollution, then made me the center of attention
Aww..How I disliked it!
Omg!
So totally embarrassing!
I froze there, don't know what to react...
Its not like I purposely want to let down my hair...
I cannot help it...
Want me to tie up my wet hair and have hair lice meh?
LOL

2009-05-20T21:49:00.002+08:00

To Try To Break Free,
Is A Difficult Chore
But Its Just Another Climb In Life

Clenched Your Fist
Please Clenched Your Fist
Take In Deep Breath
Everything Will Be All Right Then

2009-05-16T22:09:00.005+08:00

21 May 2009: Terry bringing JangWai and DRAGGING me to the SPCA or whatever place which is the homes for abandoned dogs so that we can volunteer by bathing, feeding the dogs etc ! And I have phobia of DOGS ! ARGHHHHHH !
WARNING: If I come back to school with patches here and there, it means I just had a DOG FIGHT ! HAHAS !

Today,
went with Terry to collect somethings.
After collecting,
he refused to let me go home and study...
because if I go home = he go home too...
And he dont want
He is same as Reshmi...
Says home boring
So drag me along
):
T_T
Whats with juniors these days...
Pulling seniors to go have fun when supposed to study eh...
Later I flunk my exams arh...
I will chase Terry with a chopper!
Hahas!~
I cannot imagine pulling WanPing, KeHui, Shanice, YiYing, Hazimah, Nikki etc to play with me...
LOL!

Then we go Daiso !
Know what?
I bought bags and bags of CHIPS!
Unbelievable, right?
Even when I came home,
I still cannot believe that I had went to shop for chips...
Because well,
Let's say,
All along I dont go for chips
I'm not so into chips
And even if I am,
I will only buy 1 bag, not many
Maybe I am insane today...
Really insane...

And CHOU Terry!
Yesterday,
Call me and ask me to DRESS APPROPRAITELY for today
or else I will throw his face...
LOLS
HELLO?!
Like when did I not dress properly?!
Even when I'm sick,
I also dress properly!
!^@$%#$&^&*$&(*)()_!@
HAHAS !
Well,
He should not say this to me...
I ALWAYS dress appropraitely!
Today no exception.
Hmph!
He should say this to someone else instead...
Anyway really,
but later he took back his words...
HAHAS !
:D

People,
Tell you a secret.
Terry is SOOOOOO AUNTIE !
Read the conversation below with me and Terry:

*On the escalator to Daiso...*
Terry : I tell you something
Me : What?
Terry : When you are in Daiso,
you should buy BIG BIG stuffs, not small small stuffs, then the $2
worth it mah...

I did not know Terry had this Auntie image to himself,
not until today.
HAHAS !
:D

2009-05-15T22:08:00.004+08:00

Sometimes,
I wish I am god,
I wish I can control your passion...

My shoes are the one which is smaller!

Who is the "shy" girl here?

We are in school's
gym today!
Pictures Courtesy to Reshmi

Passion Beats Talent
But what if there are TWO passions?
Which will you choose?
You will be so stuck...
Because you can only choose one out of two
Guess,
In life,
I had enjoyed many of these tough experiences.
The choices that I made in the end,
Always never left me regret.
Till now.
And Forever.

People,
Just Remember...
You will never regret when a decision is made personally by yourself.
Regardless of whether the decision is good or bad,
Hurtful or not,
Beneficial or not.
A decision can only be decided by you,
Others cannot help you,
Except providing their shoulders & advise.
In certain times,
we have to walk and choose the forked route ourselves.
No one can help us.
We can only help ourselves.

Okay,
I am just being random nowadays.

Traces of memories,
are like footprints.
Even if everything falls back together,
It will still not be the same.

Memories,
are swords,
piercing into hearts

2009-05-14T13:38:00.006+08:00

When life offers you a dream
so far beyond any of your expectations,
It's not reasonable to grieve
when it comes to an end

Home Econs paper today was the most difficult throught the entire home econs I had taken within these 2 years ..
In fact,
I almost cannot finish ..

Still remember last Saturday,
I saw Hung and he was carrying big and small bags of plastic bags like AUNTIE !
Hahas !
Simply hilarious !
Oops!
Hehe!

Listening to the song that I first found my passion for dancing and danced ...
That was like 9 years ago
Song so old ...
But very nice !
Thinking about it,
Phew !
Fortunately I did not partner with Derek for the dance
Otherwise now same class as him ...
the atmosphere must be so awkward
Hahas !
But he is quite good...
He is the male lead !!!!
Not fair ....
Hahas !
Anyway the song is THE CALL - BACKSTREET BOYS

Mutual respect
Seriously,
everybody should learn to respect each other
Its sickening and infuriating when people dont show respect to you
by doing some sickening things , humiliating you in public ETC
I dont know whats the world becoming with people losing respect to each other now
You know why people is called human beings?
Because we are not invisible!
Not an object!
But I personally still think even an object deserves respect !
Sometimes,
others respect you but you did not give them back the right treatment back,
and you know how they feel?!
They feel so angry
They are stretching the "self-control" rubber band although it has reached the maximum
They feel like they had been bullied
But no matter how much they have been tortured by the disrespect
They had to suffer in silence
Because they pretend not to care, hoping and waiting patiently that the one will change for the better one day, will learn self-respect.

Another thing.
Please people,
What goes around, comes around.
The type of person that I dislike is ... ....
When you do horrible stuffs to people,
then people tried to do back to you,
you fumed up and break down,
and congratulations, guess whose fault is it now?
The person who suffered the horrible stuffs and not the person who is the big bully!
How unfair !

And puh-lease,
If you want to apologise,
Apologise sincerely
And apologise whole-heartedly,
Don't apologise for the sake of apologising.
I see no point in that.
You might as well keep your mouth shut.
I cannot stand people who cannot apologise sincerely and I myself have to end up forcing myself to forgive them.
As in, how can you say "Hey,I don't accept your apology because you lack sincerity!"
It sounds so rude.

Guess what?
I had been wondering what is the definition of "Friends" since last year
Friends...
To be your punching bag?
To Enjoy the fun when you humiliate them?
To disturb them?
To be your rubbish bin so that whatever dirty stuffs you can throw to them?
To let you have an Unforgettable experience of them leaving you in the lurch?
To take you for granted?
To make you the butt of joke?
To let them keep on throwing insults on you?
To command you to adapt and change to their lifestyle?
For practicing disrespect on you

I guessed I had to figure this out myself... ...

Finally
developed a hatred
in 14 years

2009-05-08T18:22:00.002+08:00

Very long never post a decent post already ...
Busy mugging and...
..ENJOYING HAPPINESS

Exams went pretty bad
Not enough time to finish

There are still some things I just cannot figure it out
And another thing to add to my "dislike" list

I DISLIKE coolness
I DISLIKE calmness
Not because I'm a bit hot-tempered
Its just because sometimes others' calmness really gets on my nerves
When they are not supposed to be calm,
they choose to be calm
You know what I feel like reacting back?
I felt like shouting back at them
Scolding them
Screaming at them
Throwing all my things at them(I had never been so violent before)
The most I want to do is...
...Letting them taste a glass of my drink in their face!
But I know I will not do that
Whatever it takes,
I will control myself
until one day when I am Out-Of-Control

Nafa Test

2009-04-30T23:14:00.003+08:00

Nafa Test Results

Sit-Up : 50
Sit & Reach : 44cm
Pull Up : 21
Shuttle Run : 10.4s
Standing Broad Jump : 167cm
2.4km Run : 11.10min

*GOLD*

5days: 5hours: 35mins (125hours: 35mins)

2009-04-30T20:08:00.010+08:00

Crush or Crushed?
My stage of acting begins here

Crushed
I finally know the feeling of innocent paper being crushed
Being tore up
How cruel can human beings get ?
I am this innocent paper
Willing to sacrifice myself
Even if the tip of the pen is very pain on me
My only wish is that the user can treat me well
Write on me
Treasure me
Not crushed me
Or even tore me up
And land me in a dump
Where life stinks to the core
And nobody gives a heck about me
Instead,
Left me alone to pick pieces of myself up

You human beings will never understand this feeling
For you are not the one being crushed, being torn-up
That is why
You people are so selfish
So cruel
So self-centered
So immatured
You people only think for yourself
Do things which benefits yourself
Thoroughly never spare a thought for others
I wonder if you people ever have a conscience ... Maybe not

Of course I dared not say I am perfect
But at least,
I know inwardly that I had done my very best
When I realised that you were having the thought of crushing me up ,
I pushed it out of my mind
I kept it to myself
I remained dumb
I do not want to kick up a fuss
And still held on to a tinge of hope and confidence
For I knew that you poccessed a great conscience
You would never do that ...
Never ...
So I held on to the rope
Although holding on to it is not an easy process
The journey is so tedious, so furious
And I had nobody's ears or shoulders
What a tough fight !

But in the end,
I still fell off the cliff
Not because I let go off the rope
Not because the rope was too weak
Its because you cut off the rope
You thrashed my hope of living
How did this even happened ?
How crazy can you be ?
How hard-hearted can you display ?

You only care for yourself
You only do what you THINKS
Did you seek for my opinion before ?
No , Never , ever
You THINKS I am suffering so badly
You THINKS that the only way out to help me is to cut off the rope
But I tell you this now
This only made me suffer more
You made me perished
I will rather suffer and get to see the daylight than having a good life but see nothing
You have not understand me at all ...
I am so disappointed in you

I know I should not spoil any good images of you
I am aware of that
So I now blame myself for not having any pluck at all
Why am I so serious ?
So devoted ?
So stupid ?

Stupid girl,
when are you going to get over it ?

WHY IS THE WHOLE WORLD AGAINST ME ??!!!
ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M ALREADY SO DEJECTED !
AND THERE ARE NO SHOULDERS OR EARS OUT THERE !
I DONT LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD !!!!!!!
I KNOW NOW ARE THE EXAMS TIME
AND EVERYBODY IS STRESSED OUT
BUT PUH-LEASE
DONT TREAT ME AS A PUNCHING BAG !
GET A LIFE !
I AM ALSO STRESSED ONE OKAY !
BUT I AM CONTROLLING !
AND IF YOU ARE MY BESTIE AND YOU TOTALLY IGNORES ME AT THIS CRITICAL TIME,
I SERIOUSLY NEEDS TO THINK WHY I REGARD YOU AS A BESTIE AND HELPED YOU IN YOUR DIFFICULT TIMES AND
IF YOU ARE A GUY
A TRUE BLUE GUY
YOU WILL NOT BE SO PETTY AND TAKE ALL MY WORDS INTO YOUR HEART ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ALWAYS PICK ON ME AND I NEVER TOOK REVENGE !
PATHETIC LOSERS !
I SYMPATHISE WITH YOU !

2009-04-27T20:20:00.004+08:00

CORRINA TAN LI YING !
PULL YOURSELF UP UNTIL THE EXAMS ARE OVER !
YOU CAN DO IT !
START MUGGING !
REMEMBER HOW MANY DOZENS OF PEOPLE ARE BEHIND YOU !

CHIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG AH !

I will never let go

2009-04-27T17:43:00.004+08:00

从来没想过
不能再和你牵手

It had never crossed my mind
that I have to let go off your hand

Time : 1 day: 15 hours: 20 min since ...
39hours: 20mins since ...

Tell me it was just another prank again
Tell me it was just another illusion again
Tell me it was just hallucination again
Tell me you had not meant that
Tell me I still hold a significance position in your heart
TELL ME ALL THESE !
Why can't you just talk?!
Why must you maintain the silence?!
I don't want this ...
I want back the history ...

Why are you all so cruel?
So blunt?
Why did you all not spare a thought for me?
I know I am in my own fairytale ...
I know that ...
Let me continue this ...
Please ...
Why must you all set an alarm clock on me?
WHY?!

Why do all the girls get to enjoy life..except for me?
Mind you,
I am a girl too !
Do I deserve what guys suffered?!
Must I do what guys do?!

A hot-tempered person like me,
would never be so patient to wait for months and months
for the first step from you

A forgetful person like me,
would never remember anybody's birthday so quickly

Being a very fair person at all times like me,
I would never ever be biased towards one when I got two choices

Being a person who always make smart choices,
I would have never made any inprofitable choice

Being a shy individual,
I would never ever took the first step

But these are all suddenly possible...
because of you

But when I had just took the first step
You dampened me
Failure
I will never ever take the first step anymore

Still believing
Still holding on to the hope
Still dreaming about possible togetherness again
It will happen,
wouldn't it?

I know I had not uphold the pride
I know that
But this really is too much for me to keep the pride

Maybe it was all my fault
Maybe I should practice some initiative
Maybe I should not mix around
Maybe I should watch my dressing
Maybe I should show more warmth
Maybe I was too blunt ...
Maybe I had hurt your feelings ...
You were not that bad after all ...
Maybe there should be another chance

No,
It seemed that everything was over for you
你好像已经整理好了。
But ...
But what about me?
What about everything we'd been through?
Is there no turning back?

I know it must be a careless mistake
A mistake that everybody will make in their lives
But I am willing to forgive and forget
I am willing to let you take back your words
I am willing to have a fresh start
I will wait
and wait
and wait ... ...

I guessed god,
You should have tortured this girl enough...
Taking away half of her heart
Making her walk all her life journey alone
And furthermore,
Asking her whose life had been torn up so badly to consult a rejected boy
This is far too much !
You are just adding more pain to this girl !
She is the one who really needed so much silence and counselling !
Not that boy !
Do you understand?!

I will never let you go
although I know in the end
I will be the one who is hurt

25th April 2009

2009-04-26T00:31:00.004+08:00

End of happiness
Start of misery

A Cinderella without shoes
The Prince cannot find it

10hours 9mins ago
On 25th April 2009, 15:40
I finally plucked out my courage
and punched in the numbers
Holding on to hope and optimism

Initially,
I was stuttering
I felt like backing out
But then,
since I had already took the first step
why not the next?

I regretted taking the next step ...
Because it just made my rainbow disappeared
It came out from you so easily
You sounded so calmed
I guessed you had prepared yourself long ago
Long ago
你已经整理好了！
我呢？！
I was still dreaming
In MY OWN fairytale !
Its so UNFAIR !
I could tell its all excuses you are fabricating out again

I hung the phone so fast
Not because I agreed on that
Its because I could not stand being calm anymore
I wanted to burst
But not in front of you

I could not believe that I caused such a mess just after hanging down the phone
That's not me
Suddenly so tired of reality
that I ____ myself to sleep

____ for the whole day
Even when I was out ...
Cannot believe I did that
I had broke a record just because of you

Maybe this was retribution for me
Maybe I deserved it all

My eyes are swollen, red
So tired of _____ already

My mum still asked me
Mum : Why your eyes looks so tired?
Me : (Lying) I'm tired
*Sneezes*
Mum : I know already.. You must be falling sick ...

What a nice prediction!
Drowning myself with water
Running hard
All for one thing
To forget
~~I guessed this misery will goes on for months or even years~~

25 April 2009
I had developed a phobia
A phobia caused by you

2009-04-24T19:59:00.003+08:00

You always tell me not to bury my feelings
my emotions into blog
You always tell me to bury them into you instead
I know
You just want to be a part of my life
You just want me to keep everything to myself
instead,
confront
I get it
I changed
But now ...
Look what had happened ..
Now
I want to thrash everything out!
I WANT !
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON !
STOP KEEPING ME IN SUSPENSE ANYMORE !
YOU ARE JUST CREATING HALLUCINATIONS IN ME !
I AM SO LOST
I AM SO HURT
I CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP
YOUR ANSWER
WHEN WILL I EVER GET TO HEAR IT
WHEN WILL WE EVER SOLVE ALL THE COMPILATIONS
I HAD BEEN HANGING ON TO EVERY SINGLE HOPE
WHEN THE MSN SOUND,
I CHECKED FOR YOUR NAME
NO AVAIL
WHEN THE PHONE RANG
I CHECKED FOR YOUR NAME
NO AVAIL
I WANT TO SSSSSSCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM !!
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM !
SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTT !
I GUESSED
IF THERE IS STILL NO REPLY FROM ______
I WILL JUST OUTDO MYSELF
I WILL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DARE NOT
ALWAYS AM TOO SHY TO DO
I WILL PICK UP THE PHONE
I WILL PUNCH IN THE NUMBERS
I WILL NOT HANG THE PHONE DOWN TILL I GOT A SATISFIED ANSWER
I suffered a burn on my hand today
Caused my YaoHer
I was so focus on doing something then I did not notice that he used the 100degrees glass rod to burn my hand .
It touched my skin .
Its so awfully pain .
I went to wash it but it just got more numb .
Its pain ...
Very ...
But not as painful as what my _____ felt .
Very numb ...
Extremely
I am so numb ...

Anyway if it ever left a scar,
it maybe a good thing.
Hahas thats what KeHui said .
She said," Then next time when your boyfriend hold your hand and see your scar, he will cherish you more. Because you are so nice to not scold back the person who burned you."
Hahas !!!
What the ...
And today,
KeHui cannot go back home .
You know why?
Because she never brought her keys with her and then nobody was at home .
LOL

2009-04-23T22:45:00.001+08:00

Found this on Sadman's blog .
Simply hilarious!
Guys,
go read !
Hahas !

23rd April

2009-04-23T15:58:00.002+08:00

Left the past
Devoted to the present
Not a sign of the past in the present
No , not until the present left
did the past returned again

My future
Will be present or past?

That day
On the 23rd of April
On that particular day
The present brought the message
Message of Heart-shattering news
that used forces
Forces to enter my ears
And never ever came out again

That day
On the 23rd of April
On that particular day
The past returned
A once-dead sight came back to life
The black-and-white was filled with colours

That day
On the 23rd of April
On that particular day
I was God's chess pieces again
God was playing with my life
My confused life
And I don't like it
Really really don't like

Memories being flipped through
Each brought joy
Brought tears
To the heart
A good or bad thing
I cannot tell for myself

23rd of April
It had finally stopped swaying
It had been swaying for so long
So long until now
I wish the wind had never come at all
Never made the present sway in the first place

23rd of April
The end or the beginning
The fall or the joy
The push or the pull

23rd of April
I will always remember

2009-04-17T23:00:00.004+08:00

Midnight
First tick for morning
Always so beautiful
I will always remember it

Memories ...
Still living in memories ...
Reality is too hard ..
Cannot face the music ...
Letting memories overlapsed reality ...
making decisions ...
Making the decision to forgive ...
Making the decision to forget ...

Envy .
Not green .
Sweet images flashed past sight .
Tried to push out of mind ...
Succeed !
Under control .

4 hours of black and white overlapsing dead reality ...
Looks so impossible
But so possible

Starting to appreciate rainbow friends and running
Stood beside me ,
Mind relaxing ,
A taste of rainbow .
I am back to life again .

Abandoned in my space
What a crazy planet !
Its swaying
Swaying so rapidly
so constantly
In you
I can see
Stop deceiving .

But never mind
Will not mind .
Keep my eyes shut .
Pretend reality is not alive .
Don't be cruel .
Let my dreams flow
Don't stop it
Even if the we just includes me .
Even if there is only one wing .

I had never dream before
I had never imagine before
I had never pretend before
Let me do this for once now ...

I am always strong
This time
I can be much stronger
Much .

Love is about giving without getting any returns

2009-04-11T12:41:00.008+08:00

Last year Sentosa Splash !
I know I look like a MAD GIRL ! LOL

Got invited from Jillian to go to Expo for the Church Drama yesterday .
The whole drama about Jesus was pretty fascinating .
It was enjoyable .

Her cell group people were amazing ...
Because all the guys still remembered me from last year's Sentosa Splash ..
Their memory must be awfully good !
LOL !
They said that maybe because of my change in hairstyle ,
they almost cannot recognise me ...
LOL !

Initially ,
when I first entered the Expo theatre ,
I was so surprised and stunned
because the cell group people was like
"What is your name ? You look so familiar..."
and
"Are you Corrina?" .
I was totally stunned .
I thought they will not remember me ..
Hahas !
Never in my life I got such treatments! :D

After the drama ,
ALL 2-2 people stayed for dinner ...
But some of the 2-4 people had to leave for home ..

Talking about the dinner ,
this is the part which is simply hilarious !
We went to Changi Airport to have dinner .
And all the girls and QiWei bought MAC ..
While the FILTHY RICH people who are BingLiang , YaoHer , ZhengWei and Derek wanted to buy Swensens .
At first ,
they walked around almost all the terminals and had yet to find Swensens ..
So they changed their plan to buy Burger King instead ..
But then Burger King was under renovation ..
LOL
At last , they decided to buy Japanese Food instead ..
What the ...
By this time ,
I had already filled my stomach ..
Hahas !
Serves them right !
Who called them want to be so posh about food ...
Hehe xp

After the dinner ,
all the 2-2 except for WenXin and me ,
went to play with the trolley ,
ESPECIALLY the boys ...
Oh my god !
So embarrassing !!!
The boys were behaving like little kids ,
standing on the trolleys and pushing the trolleys around so fast ...
LOL !
Finally ,
Jillian "confiscated" their trolleys
and I don't let them take back .
But I guessed 2-2 people were so SMART
because they went to get another 2 trolleys from nowhere ...
Gosh !
I am speechless ...
LOL !

All along ,
I thought BingLiang and ZhengWei were matured ...
But now ,
it seems so wrong ..
LOL
Their appearance matured = YES
Their hearts matured = A BIG NO NO
Hahas !

During the ride back home on the MRT ,
we kept disturbing YaoHer !
Hahas !
Then BingLiang kept on rattling while
his saliva kept "polluting" me ...
My arm , my face ...
Oh my god !
DISGUSTING !
Fortunately ,
he used his hand and wiped his saliva off me ...
LOL !

After alighting from the train ,
I walked home with Derek behind me , chatting with a cellgroup member .
When I reached the part for Derek and me ,
Derek suddenly called me and waved me goodbye ..
I was like speechless ..
Because I thought Derek was anti-social and said he did not want to bother me on our way home ?
Whatever !

Reached home ,
I texted Jillian and PohChoo to inform them about my safety .
They looked like my grandmother ..
Right ? .
HEHE xp
Then YaoHer also texted me to ask if I had reached home ..
And he is so gullible ...
Because I told him I had not reached home ..
And guess what ..
HE BELIEVED !
LOL !

2009-04-09T21:00:00.004+08:00

Oh my god !
I miss captains !
I WANT CAPTAIN WAN PING AND CAPTAIN KE HUI NOW !!!

Starting from yesterday ,
I was so absorbed in my CCA matters until I do not even have time to care about my personal problems .
NOW !
I AM GOING TO VOMIT ALL THE UNHAPPINESS !!!!!
CANNOT STAND IT ALREADY !

For those who did not come for the self-training yesterday .
I got to tell you that ...
Troubles are brewing in the C Division .
Unhappiness is reigning .
Its so crazy !

During the self-training ,
when Jang Wai and me kept on repeating ourselves to ask them do stretching or ask them to go train for about 3 times ,
everybody ignored us ...
Nobody moved .
Everybody stick to their chairs .
You think funny arh ?!
We must shout then you all moved .
You think I love to shout ?!
I tell you guys ...
This is the time I lose my cool and shouted so loud in school within my whole 8 years in primary and secondary school .

Not only you all dont listen ,
when we called you guys to run ,
just tell me how you guys reacted !
You all gave us a sigh , that exhausted look and complained, "Huh ... We are very tired already ... Why dont we walk instead?"
You all are actually tired ? .
We did less than 3km only ...
And you guys are still playing so actively when you all are in the playground, not showing any signs of exhaustion .
And you expect us to believe ?

Another thing ,
Do you all know that some seniors like Wei Sheng is trying to hide his emotions and not scold you juniors ?
However ,
you people took him for granted .
I still remembered him saying to a junior [I shall not personal attack],
"I am trying to keep a smile although I am very irritated with you."
Despite saying this ,
the junior still continued to be so mischievous and out-of-control .

Although it is only a self-training ,
but we still treat it seriously .
During this self-training ,
we intended to play games for team bonding and trained up the sec 1s .
But I guessed everything failed ...
Maybe I am such a terrible senior and a pathetic loser who are unable to control and gain respects from the sec 1s ...

Juniors ,
You can hate me for pumping you .
But I will not retaliated .
No matter what .
Not because I dont care you .
It is because I know everything I did for you is for your interest at heart .
If I do not have your interest at heart ,
why did I ever call a self-training which includes you ?
All of the sec 2 seniors can just self-train on our own .
But why must we go to the extent ?
To vent our anger on you by asking you to knock it down ?
To embarrass you ?
I also heard that some of you want to quit .
But before you quit ,
you think carefully by yourself .
Why did you ever get into this CCA in the first place ?
Because we randomly choose you ?
Because you are a joker ?
Because your popularity level is high ?
NOT !
It is because you got the potential of soaring higher .
If you did not get into nationals like Hong Liang, Jia Xin etc etc ,
it does not mean that you are lousy or hopeless .
It only mean one thing .
You need more time .
More time to showcase your potential .
Furthermore ,
some of you told me you want to get into Cross-Country team , get a medal etc ,
there are nothing wrong with having these kind of dreams .
But I must tell you guys this :
It is possible for you to achieve these dreams .
But you all must get yourself out from some words like , "Tired" & "Walk" first .
Make them disappear from your dictionary !

I also deeply regretted the harsh words that shot out of my mouth .
And people ,
I know we sec 2 do not have much rights to criticise the sec 1 for the lack of discipline and teamwork .
That is why now we are trying to make up towards our mistakes by helping the sec 1s so that history will not repeat itself again .
And since I finally realised Captain KeHui and Captain WanPing's hardships of trying to control an out-of-control team .
From now on ,
I will grow up and be matured and obediently listen to seniors .

And we are ONE team ,
no matter if we are juniors or seniors or girls or boys .
So we MUST try to maintain peace throughout .
Imagine seeing hatred plastered on everybody's faces and filled inside the eyes during training ...
That will be so scary !
And I know you guys will not want this to happen ...

I also remembered Richie(my friend) told me something about juniors at the start of the year ,
1 January 2009 .

Richie : I really want see new batch
Richie : Juniors whr got irritating? At
least they're not like those p1,p2 juniors who dunno about anything . New
friends mahx .
*I kept insisting my point that I had bad feelings for
juniors .*
Richie : Believe me , juniors are fun .

Please do not take away my faith and belief in my juniors ... ...

National Track is just next week ...
Good Luck for those taking part !
I will go down and support !

I respect ya decision but it just seems that respect makes the mars and the venus drift further instead .

2009-04-05T01:39:00.005+08:00

BELATED PICTURES

B GIRLS !!!

Jang Wai and me got UNIQUE pose !!!

Thanks to HaoRong & JangWai for the pictures on their blog .

This was the photo that was taken on 28th March , the celebration for Kae Li & My birthday !!! Hmm ... I looked like a pale patient ... Well , cannot be blame . I am really sick on that day . ):
Image courtesy from Edeline .

0140
So early and I am already here blogging .
Figured out that I cannot sleep after all ...
Not with things bugging me .

Thanks to those who had been my listening ear .
> Ming Xuan
> Bing Liang
> Kenneth LOW
> Yi Tian
> Jia Hui

You guys had seriously provided me with a lot of advices .
But I am still stuck .
But no matter what ,
my stand will always be clear .
I WILL not take the easy route out by making it dead ...
for I know my passion is still hanging high in the air .

Kenneth is right .
That was only a petty issue .
I should not take it too hard .
But still ,
it is hard .

Never mind ,
I will act as Bing Liang advised by letting time take control of things .
Time will prove if it is still beating .
Still alive ...

Still ,
the most important thing is what Ming Xuan had said .
Explanation !
Communication !
Do not be left behind , instead , catch up and confront !
I will do just that .
Even if affinity does not permit ,
even if the whole world forbids ,
I WILL still persist my way of getting the explanation done , the communication alive and the confrontation straight .

I will pick myself up .
I will live with smiles .
I
will brace myself up ...
slowly but surely .

2009-04-03T22:41:00.003+08:00

Monday 30/03 : Is it today ?

Tuesday 31/3 : Is it yesterday or today ? MUST be today .

Wednesday 01/04
: Mad at me ? Had prepared the
speech the whole day . MUST talk face-to-face . Distracted for
the whole lessons of the day . Fortunately, able to push it off my mind during
common test.

Thursday 02/04 : How ? 3 chances flew past me ! During the
1st chance, all the speech is just in my mouth but someone refused to budge..
During the last chance, I plucked up enough pluck but half-way, spoilt
everything myself. What a LOSER !

Friday 03/04 : I HAD HAD ENOUGH ! I am going to BURST soon ! I missed a very great opportunity because I cannot
bring my legs to move forward !!! And with that, I am SOOOO agitated that you
can see tears and my cca teammates thought I gone crazy already ! I started to
search . Only after 1hr+ then found ! Oh My God !!! Nervous. But still
accomplished ! Over the moon. Till my teammates really think I had gone
out-and-out crazy ! xp

Oh my god !
My mental is really very busy this week !
Not because of common test ...
Look on top !
):

Mixed feelings filled me .
Anger .
Anxiety .
Happiness .
Blue .
Confused .
Nervous .
Scared .
Distractions .

Do you know what I want ?
You dont know .
Do you actually know me ?
You dont know .
Do you know that after I saw you , I felt over the moon ?
You dont know .
Do you know that after I talked to you , I felt so overjoyed ?
You dont know .
Do you know that listening to your voice is so soothing ?
You dont know .

Why are you washing your hands off me ?

Why do you make a face when I was mentioned ?
Why do you everytime NOT stop to ______ ?
Why are there still no words ?
Did you really thorougly pushed my birthday out of your mind completely already ?
Why do you not stop when I talk ?
Why do you not pay attention when I talk ?
Are you really that busy ?
Maybe you are really that busy ...
I understand .
I understand .
But busy to that extent ?
Forgetting and moving on, leaving me behind ...

The results ...
Are freaky !
Unbelievable !
How can it be ???
Impossible ...
The results should not turn out in this way ...
It should turn out in MY way ...
8/10 ...
But instead ,
it was in 1,2,3 and even 0 !

Let me tell you your results .
The 1st person gave a 1 .
The 2nd person gave a 0 and a SLAP .
The 3rd person gave a 3 .
The 4th person gave a 2 .
The 5th person gave a 0 and a "USELESS" word .

I took a deep breath .
I gritted my teeth .
I leave my pride behind .
I dug my guts out .
I held on to the initiative .
I pushed myself forward .
Mind you ,
I am also an ordinary girl .
If ever I am unique ,
I guess it is you who makes me .

Cannot ...
I cannot feel like this ...
I must feel warm happiness ...
But ...
It is getting so hard to persuade myself ...
And yet I cannot say out what it is ...
It is always stuck in my mind ...
My heart ...
Like a tumour protruding my brain ...

People say ... ...
When your chain breaks
When the photoframe breaks
When you had lost 1/2 of the 1
Everything clashes .
Your world will rotate the other way which you prayed hard it will not .
I will not believe !
Forever will not !

Others can get better treatments ...
Way better than me ...
What with sacrificing 24hours , neoprints , beaches ...
Unfair !
Totally unfair !
I guess I can get it too when I put an "IF" word ...

No !
Cannot !
My tears dont drop so easily !
I wont cry !
I WONT !
I'm All Right ...

倔强说不痛，假装什么上都没有。
倔强抬起头，决不让眼泪往下流。
真得不难过。。。

Why does it all turn up this way ?
It is still not too late to apologise .
To wish me .
It has been 8days ...
But never mind ...
I will keep on waiting ...
Keep on waiting and waiting ...
Waiting ...
Waiting even if it means 365 1/4 days ...
Another brand new year before 2 words "Happy Birthday" gets into my ears ...

{Tears rolled}

Let me not talk alien language to you people already ...
Training today is cancelled .
So we did self-training and team bonding with Sec 1 Boys and Girls .
They are Chun Tek , Terry , Jed , Ayuni , Pei Yi , Sabrina .
The team bonding was such a success !
And Jia Wei was the COACH for the day !
LOL
He trained us by playing games ...
So NICE !
Then dont know what bad luck I poccessed today ...
I kept on losing and had since did 5 forfeits ...
3 chicken dance and 10 pumpings .

2009-03-31T18:37:00.002+08:00

Blue .
Fire .
Distracted .
Initiative .
Waited .
Patience .
Anticipation .
Fool .
Excuses .
Busy .
Sacrifices .
Reject .
Later .
Chances .
Broken .
Promise .
Cracked .
Overboard .
Emotions .
Controllable .
Run .
Avoid .
Cut .
Deeper .
Wept .
Strong .
Front .
Gritted .
Insincere .
Blinked .
Unbelievable .
Gulped .
Indescribable .

2009-03-31T10:26:00.002+08:00

I am in science computer lab now ...

A lot of things going through my mind now .
Well,
its definitely not about science.
Because i had already done my part and my group member asked me to go slack while they took over .
LOL xp

Anyway,
I feel like I am split into two sides now.
Once again,
one is the devil.
The other is the angel.

Is this too much?
1/10
0/10
Results just took side with the devil.

But what if its really just a slip off the mind.
Its really forgivable,
isin't it?
Well,
people do make mistakes.

But...
Talking about mistakes,
can this really be forgettable?
It should be equally important to ___.

Because of ___ ,
~~I went hard on myself .~~

Forgivable or Not? .
Almost everyday the cute image was in front of me.
Wrong .
TWO cute images .
It was somewhat more hard for me to persuade myself to be forgivable .

Presently,
Mixed feelings floods me.
Fire.
Blue.
Just the feelings I felt now ... ...

My Birthday / National Cross '09

2009-03-27T22:00:00.005+08:00

Happy Birthday To You !
Happy Birthday To You !
Happy Birthday To Myself
!
Happy Birthday To You !

I sang to myself on 27 March 2009, 00:00 .
So pathetic , right ? .
LOL

Let me list to you the people who wished me "Happy Birthday" from the earliest to the latest .

1st : Zhuo Wen (26/3/2009 23:20; 27/03/2009,00:00)
I did not know Zhuo Wen was that loyal .
Because I joked with him during yesterday's lesson that he must stay up till 12 midnight and wish me "Happy Birthday".
And then he replied "Okay" .
But I thought he was just joking...
Who knows he is so SERIOUS and LOYAL !
xp

2nd : Jia Hui (27/03/2009, 00:00)
I pestered Jia Hui till midnight.
Hahas ! xp
And she kept spamming me with "Happy Birthday" wishes at 07:00 too !

3rd : Kae Li [Text]

4th : Reshmi [Text]

5th : Wan Ping [Text]

6th : Nizam
Thanks for being my listening ear yesterday night !
Hahas ! xp

7th : Jang Wai [Reached school already.]

8th : Jillian

9th : Bing Liang , Zheng Wei?

10th : Felina

11th : Ying Jun

12th : Kimberley

13th : Bryan

14th : Yin Ting
How can you treat a birthday girl with BLACK INK ?!
Grr !!!

15th : Yin Hao

16th : Ming Xuan [Text]
Wow ... So bold ... Text me during class time ..
LOL

17th : Wei Sheng
He STOLE my chocolate !!!
My birthday present !!!
He owed me BIRTHDAY PRESENT !
Hehe !

18th : Ms Teow
LOL !
Even teacher wished me "Happy Birthday!" ...

19th : Jarrod

20th : Returnmoney? [22/03/2009]
Just saw on 6H blog ...
Who are you ? .
LOL

21th : Yao Her

22th : Ke Hui

23th : Chia Yuan
How can you almost forgot ?!

Ridiculous !

Outrageous !

Bleah !

24th : Jin Ming [27/03/2009, 23:59]
He PURPOSELY one !
How can he like that ? .
LOL

25th : Loh Liang

Very pathetic !
Only 25 people wishes me "Happy Birthday" !
The others so HEARTLESS !
Never mind ..
Still got 1 more hour to redeem yourself before my birthday ends !
LOL !

Today ,
I received 3 presents .
They are from ...
Bing Liang/Zheng Wei ,
Jang Wai ,
Ming Xuan !

Bing Liang and Zheng Wei gave me EXPENSIVE chocolate ...
But dont know which 3 greedy pigs ate away !
Somemore is the BEST 6 chocolates !
Top 3 Greedy Pigs Of The Year :
> Jang Wai
> Jia Hui
> Wei Sheng

After school ,
I went to Jurong Point with Edeline and Ming Xuan to buy my present !
Then guess who I met ?!
YU CHENG !!!!
Oh My God !
I dressed till so exaggerating ..
With high heels and mini dress ...
And he saw everything !!!
And his reaction was SO BIG and FUNNY!!!
His eyes were like so HUGE , STARING at me , mouth WIDE OPENED !!!
Then I was like SO SHOCKED !
I wanted to hide behind Edeline or Ming Xuan ...
BUT
IT WAS TOO LATE !
And I almost DIED of embarrassment !!!
!@#%$#&%#$@#
ARGH !
Then I think he kept pointing me to his friend !
Because his friend kept staring at me as I walked away !!!
Then I also kept pointing him to Edeline and Ming Xuan !
HAHAS !
Of All Time ,
I had to meet him TODAY !
Oh my god !
Lucky he graduated from school already ...
Phew !
But hoped he do not come back and SPREAD !

And there is another OMG thing !
JANE saw me in my outfit for today also !
Yeah its JANE LING JIA RONG !
OUCH !
I tell you ...
She is bound to spread to Richie Ling !
I bet he will laugh his head off at me !
ARGH !
!$#@%^%@$%@
LOL

Cross-Country Results had already came out ..
Here It Is ...

C Boys

Position(37) Timing-18:47:52 Kanessan Gunasegaran
Position(39) TIming-18:50:07 Tan Hong Liang
Position(85) Timing-20:26:50 Nah Yeow Pang Shawn
Position(97) Timing-20:50:53 Ng Jun Jie Sean
Position(150) Timing-22:10:06 Tay Wei Sheng
Position(158) Timing-22:24:37 Royson Tay Wei Jie

This year C Boys did quite well too .
Hong
Liang Pro !
Sec 1 only then can pace senior !
Must be the boy's version
of Wan Ping ..
Difference is just that Wan Ping every race WILL win a medal
...
LOL
And Wei Sheng very unlucky ...
Everytime race ,
he will
be injured or got something wrong .
Last race was because he had a bad
headache .
This race was because he had stomach cramp .
Maybe because
too much stress ? .
Anyway GOOD LUCK in the future ! :D

C Girls

Position(62) Timing-21:03:05 Lai Jang Wai
Position(82) TIming-21:49:74 Corrina Tan Li Ying
Position(103) Timing-23:08:73 Harriel Thai Jia En
Position(142) Timing-24:39:91 Maziyyah Najihah
Position(194) TIming-29:47:14 Selas Tiong Siu Loi

I know I did very badly .
I know a lot of you
guys will be very disappointed in me .
I know I should have done better .
But the best thing is that ...
I know I had tried my best .
I know I
will try even harder next year .
I had learnt to accept the fact .
So should you
guys .

B Boys

Position(26) Timing-16:57:44 Tham Hao Rong
Position(53) Timing-18:10:13 Samuel Goh Jin Long
Position(152) Timing-20:21:74 Lim Chia Yuan
Position(179) Timing-20:46:35 Alvin Chong Jun Xiang
Position(297) Timing-24:28:03 Ryan Poon Yung Chieh

Can see that Hao Rong's efforts had paid off .

B Girls

Position(11) Timing-17:46:20 Chua Wan Ping
Position(31) Timing-18:58:64 Chuah Ke Hui
Position(43) Timing-19:52:85 Rupini Piragasam
Position(71) Timing-21:07:53 Nikki Pearl Chan Yun Ling
Position(179) Timing-25:16:42 Nur Hazimah Bte Anuar
Position(196) Timing-26:21:98 Tan Yi Ying

CONGRATULATIONS Wan Ping !
Since you win ,
you should treat us !!! :D
This year B Girls are the BEST
!
They had done exceptionally well !
Their team ranking was 7 .
Left
2 more positions to snatch the team medal .
Why so unlucky ?!

And ...
Did i ever mention before that ...
MISS CHUA ROCKS !
She came to support us .
Not only that ,
she still concerned about our stomach .
She bought us CHIPS and DRINKS !!!
LOL
I LOVE HER !
Hahas !
And also the ex-seniors !
Oh yeah ...
Wonder who brought the bananas ...
Brandon kept on pestering us to have a banana .
Then no choice ,
just take and eat .

Okays .
Had to go to bed now .
Tomorrow still got another celebration for my Birthday !
Hahas !
And I will be receiving more belated birthday presents on tomorrow and next week !
Hehe ! xp
I know you guys must so envious !!! .
LOL

A BIG THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO WISHED ME "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" , SHOWERED ME WITH PRESENTS AND MADE MY BIRTHDAY A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!
SORRY AND TAGGED ME IF I FORGOT TO PUT YOUR NAME ON THE LIST !
YOU GUYS WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER ...!!!

WeiSheng/John Birthday Party

2009-03-22T17:29:00.006+08:00

Happy Birthday To You !
Happy Birthday To You !
Happy Birthday To WEISHENG / JOHN !
Happy
Birthday To YOU !

祝你生日快乐！
祝你生日快乐！
祝你生日快乐！
祝你生日快乐！

(Applause !!!)

This happened yesterday .
Yesterday was WeiSheng / John's Birthday Party !!
It was at East Coast Park , 1700 .
It was SO F-U-N !

But it was a long walk away from the bus-stop ..
Sad .
The whole CCA was complaining all the way .
{Me too}
Hehe xp

But once we reached,
Philips was very good .
He gave us the whole BBQ pit .
At first ,
nobody wanted to touch the BBQ pit !
I am the first to touch it ..
LOLS !
Then dont know who said I cooked it till charred
then I retired from there !
Let the BOYS do the cooking !
And Fatt Rui looks like our nanny ..
He helped us to cook !!!
FATT RUI 万岁！！！

Chicken Wing .
Otah .
Pasta .
Satay .
Salad .
Hot Dog .
Orange Juice .
YUMMY !
Simply Delicious !
I'm Lovin' It !!

After the dinner ,
WeiSheng's classmates then come .
So late ...

Oh yeah ...
Then ChiaYuan made me mad ..
Then I took revenge by bursting the balloon in front of his face ..
But not fair one !
He not scared at all ...
Blink also never blink ...
Cheh !

After dinner ,
we went to play ......
DOG AND BONE !
CAPTAIN'S BALL !
Shawn blur king !
Reaction so slow ...
People took the bone away
then he just realised its his turn !
LOLS !

Then Reshmi and I went to admire the sea .
Oh My God !
Its simply RELAXING !
My nerves all calm down upon admiring it .

After a while ,
I realised my handphone missing !!!
:O
Fortunately ,
my handphone ringtone loud .
Then easily found .

After that ,
cut cake yada yada ...

......
......
......

Go Home Time ...

Maybe I enjoyed this part the most ? .
Better dont let someone know that I write this ...
Or he will slap me 10times ...
Hush !
Low Profile !

Kehui , WanPing , Kaneesan , Boyi and someone took cab home ...
Abandoned juniors !
Then the rest stayed overnight .
How I regret not staying overnight ...
I think it will be very fun ...

Now left ..
Reshmi
JangWai
Me .
Since you had already know that the route back to the bus-stop is very long ...
And I already very tired ..
That is why JangWai and I called YongKai , KianChong and ChiaYuan to ride us ...
But KianChong so ungentlemen !
Cheh !
But at least he is not that bad ..
He let me ride his bike FOR A WHILE !
JangWai is the MOST LUCKY one !
YongKai ride her in front !
So CLOSE to each other !
So SWEET !
SO ROMANTIC !
They really looked like a COUPLE !
YongKai helped her carry bag somemore !

Then I asked ChiaYuan to ride me also ...
Then you know what he said ? .
" How to ride you ? .
How you sit in front ? .
In front so small space . "
Crap !
JangWai can sit in front ,
why cant I ?!
NOT FAIR !
D:
And within 30minutes ,
he slapped me 10 times !!!!
CRAP !
Never mind .
I also got my revenge !
I kept on pulling on to his sleeve and grabbed very tight at his wrist which is very pain then he kept on complaining !
Hahas !
He also very funny !
Still remembered he first time kept on 撒娇 to me !
LOL !
Kept on saying,
"Corrina jie-jie!"
HAHAS !
So funny !
So GAY !

Whatever or so ,
ChiaYuan , YongKai and KianChong ROCKS !
Hahas !
See I so good ...
LOL !

JangWai + YongKai =
PERFECT MATCH

JangWai still said she PREFER riding with YongKai because he got that cologne or whatever guy perfume then very nice smell .
Hahas !

When I reached back home ......
Its already 12 midnight !
2nd time staying out till 12 midnight !!
But I not pai kia ..
xp

All the pictures !!!
Courtesy to JangWai .

2009-03-17T22:58:00.002+08:00

Fever .
Stomach Flu .
I thought I had recovered from those already .
But who knows...
I had not ...
And half way through training ,
I felt like puking especially that part when running the fartlek .
All in all ,
my stomach was trying to be funny with me the whole day .
And stomach , I will get even with you someday !
LOL !

Grr !
I am dead beat already .
Just want to go to bed .
So now ,
I had
FLU [NEW!],
(includes blocked nose , runny nose whatever !)
STOMACH FLU ,
COUGH ,
PHLEGM .

AND YOU THESE STUPID ILLNESSES AH !
BETTER SCRAM !
SCRAM FASTER !
AND AS FAR FROM ME AS YOU CAN !
GO AWAY !
BETTER GO AWAY AND MAKE ME RECOVER BEFORE THIS THURSDAY AND LET ME HAVE MY 2ND LAST PROPER TRAINING !
AND IF YOU DARE MAKE ME DO BADLY FOR RACE NEXT WEEK ,
I TELL YOU AH !
I WILL WIPE YOU ALL OUT !

*YOU/YOU ALL = FLU , STOMACH FLU , COUGH , PHLEGM

And today after training was such a GREAT day !
FUN !
We went to Vivo to chill etc .
{Dont want to blog already !}
{I want SLEEP !}
Then on the bus 30 back home very funny !
{I want to sleep !}
I kept laughing SILENTLY ...
See ...
I am so well-behaved .
Never disturb other passengers .
xP

WHATEVER !
I WANT TO SLEEP NOW !
AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
CROSS YOUR FINGERS FOR ME TO RECOVER FOR MY BIG DAY !!!!!!!

2009-03-13T22:05:00.003+08:00

Waiting .
And Waiting .
But to no avail .
Is there a mistake ?
What is going on ?

Took a step forward and asked .
A series of "NO" .

Gulped .
Unbelievable .
Every word ,
Every controlled tear .
Gritted teeth .
Dared not meet the eyes
the shaking head .

Light had escaped .
Blue filled my world .
Your words rattling
in my mind
my heart
my soul .
Yeah
I let down all of you .

I Love It .
Dozens .
Better than anything .
Willing to put in
my soul in it .
Only it .
Not others .
But yet ...

Never mind .
Incapable .
Admit to the fact .

The only thing
to make emotions better
now
is to direct all to one .

COACH MR LIM, YOU ROCKS !!!!
Yeah .
I will ruin the reputation if you sent me .
You did the right thing .
Right choice for not putting me in .
Right choice for letting me not take things for granted next time
~~I will recover from the hurt soon ... ...~~

My rainbow stolen .
My world fell apart .
Rain splattered .
Grey clouds over my vision .
I am living in a blue earth .

And today ,
Reshmi , JiaHui and me kept on scribbling on the whiteboard after training ,
unaware that the marker is permanent marker .
Then ..
DOOMED !
Since we did it ,
we will take the responsibility to clean off all the permanent marker's ink .
Initially ,
It seemed impossible ..
But after we used our TEAM SPIRIT ,
everything was finally cleared ...
with no permanent marker's ink on the whiteboard ! :D

2009-03-12T20:35:00.003+08:00

I found a quiz link on YiYing's blog ...
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
And I go do the quiz...
And this is the conclusions the quiz had about me ..
And I realised that all the conclusions are 99.99999999% TRUE about me ...
So cool !
Its fascinating how it know about me so much ....

These are the conclusions :

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Other quizzes :

Hot or Not? (for girls)

[Part 1] Self Confidence: 80% -> You're confident.
[Part 2] Sensory Perceptions: 71% -> Sensitive to stimulation around you.
[Part 3] Body Language: 60% -> Quite good at utilizing on occasions.
[Part 4] Conversational Skills: 73% -> You can fit in with society.
[Part 5] Empathy For Others: 73% -> Occasionally empathizes with others.

You are a typical girl, like the majority.
You are 71.33% Attractive.
{Wow !
I didnt know I scored quite well for attractiveness ...
71.33% is quite a lot ...}

What's on your mind?

Here is the analysis:

You think money and love are equally important. You have an interest in many things in life, and work hard to ensure that you maintain a healthy balance between work, play and love. However, you tend to be unable to decide on what you really want to do with your life. You wouldn't dream of leaving your loved one for one or two million dollars, but you would have to reconsider if the offer rose to 100 million dollars.

[Aww...
Makes me look so $.$]

Your Hidden Talent

Here is the analysis:

The Artist
You love freedom and want to follow your heart's desires. You might not be at your best when dealing with other people. Once you are given the opportunity to work your chosen way, your gift will shine. A tip for you is not to concentrate too much on your own work, but widen your focus and consider the opinions of other people.

How do you react to compliments?

Here is the analysis:

If you shift the compliment towards someone else, it means you are a loyal friend and enjoy being part of a team. You are helpful and dedicated to your work. You believe that everybody is equal and hate all kinds of discrimination.

Psychological Test

Here is the analysis:

>You have a complicated personality.
>How ambitious you are depends on the height that you answered, which is: Top.
>You are opinionated and self-oriented, the size of this personality as seen by >others is medium.
>Glass means fragile personality.
>You are also down-to-earth.
>You are an opportunist.
>Your best friend is the one you need when you are in trouble.

Emotion Test

Here is the analysis:

Your emotional controlled rate: 37%

You know how to let your emotions show but you still find it difficult to do so as often as you should. You should be prepared to let your emotions out more often. When you feel sad let yourself cry, when you feel angry, let your anger show and when you feel happy allow a smile to cross your face.
Allowing your emotions out in this way will do wonders to your physical and mental health.

The Clothes You Wear

What others see from your style

You tend to be affectionate but not very strong emotionally. You want to be loved, and this can make you appear needy and clingy at times.

What your nightclothes reveal

You're in need of love. You want to be taken care of and panic easily. You have a strong wish for security in your life.

What others see from your ties

You are a happy and contented person. You are protective of your friends, honest and tidy. You are hardworking and like to be the person in charge.

What others see from your belts

If there's not a single belt in your wardrobe, you like freedom and are opposed to all kinds of rules. You are creative and very good at work that requires you to stretch your imagination. Your main downfall, however, is that you can be very moody.

What others see from your shoes

You are a person who loves simplicity and is sincere and open. You are pleasant to be with, easygoing and always in a good mood. You neither want to control nor be under someone else's control. You don't care much about how you look, and know that it's what's inside someone's heart that's important.

What others see from your earrings

You are a sweet and talkative person. You are sociable, energetic and interesting, and get easily bored by the same old things. You are always looking for adventure.

The last analysis

You are probably a clever and adventurous person. You love to learn new things, and enjoy socializing with friends. Although you enjoy your freedom, you cherish peacefulness and like to spend time alone with your thoughts.

2009-03-10T21:16:00.002+08:00

Hmm ..
Thanks for the "advice?" you gave me , Jin Ming !
Still considering your words though ! ^^

Okays !
Back to TEXTES and PROJECTS and REVISIONS !!! ~
xp

2009-03-07T22:48:00.005+08:00

Pressure Is Rising ...
Under Stress ...
Mental Exploding ...

Life is a rainbow

Life is a challenge

Life is a race

Life is a choreography

Life is a game

Life is easy ; Life is difficult

This is all up to you to think

Life is about enjoying

No matter if you are in pain or in joy in life

Enjoy it to the fullest

If you want to cry

Cry harder {I wont cry , I will be strong no matter what comes}

If you want to laugh

Laugh harder {I will}

Life is dance steps which you had choreographed

Life dont control you

You are the one which controls life

Life is a rollar coaster

When the rollar coaster is down

Everything seems to have fallen apart

But dont give up

Because if there is a down

There will be an up

It just takes time

Life is about laughing in the face of obstacle

Life is not about frowning and crying in the face of obstacle

Dont think about your life

Just carry on with your life

Dont think about the painful future

Think about the sunny future

Life is life when you are fully in control .

{And I laughed when I am in pain}

{So sometimes when you see I laugh}

{It doesnt really means I am happy}

What with studies and CCA ...
My mind almost reached the brim of bursting ..
I bet white hair is growing now ...

Test has started again ...
Cross-Country Race is coming on 25th March 2009...
Only weeks ,
And everything is piling up in front of my eyes .

Oh my god !
What an ordeal to go !

Building up slow but surely ......

Wake-Up Call !!!

2009-03-06T22:32:00.002+08:00

A lot of things happened this week ...
And you dont expect me to list all down ...
Because I know it is around 10 things ...
Never mind ...

I will just get to the topic of today's Track & Field selection .
As known ,
Track & Field is just 2-3 weeks away from National Cross ...
And we had to start preparing now ...
For me ,
actually I wanted to take part in 400m and 800m .
But ...
My 400m timing was : 1:18min
My 800m timing was : 3:07min
Its like so freaking LOUSY !
If i'm not wrong ...
To qualify for 400m is like 1min flat - 1:05min ...
Around there ...
Then to qualify for 800m is like 2:40min ? .
Around there also ...
I am like so FAR ...

Crap !
And today ,
Rupini's words really knocked a lot of sense into me !
A WAKE-UP CALL INDEED !!!
She said that our training is totally WORSE than SLACKING compared to Singapore Sports School !
She said that their training was much more TEDIOUS !
She said that we MUST change our ATTITUDE !
She said it will not be long before Jurong Sec's Track and Field/Cross-Country future fall in our hands !
She said that we are all CHAMPIONS , leaders inside us !
She said that our coach , Mr Lim , is already very good to us !
She said that we CREATE the race !
NOT the race create us !
We can choose how we wants our race !
Its all about us !
Actually everything is we control !
As she told me a story about her sister .
It goes like this ...
Her sister was a fast runner but the coach was always displeased and kept on criticising her . Imagined the ticking that she had to endure . Then one day , Rupini asked her sister why does she not just quit the CCA instead since the coach kept on criticising her every training ? . She just replied , " I do not need to prove to others . I just need to prove to myself . And I have the passion for running . "

People ...
Imagined PASSION beating hardships .
And I also asked her one question after her "talk" which I cannot remember already .
And she replied that she can see that I got a lot of interest but I am afraid to show it .
What does she mean by "I am afraid..." ? .
No matter how much I asked her ,
She just asked me to go home and reflect and figured things out .

NO !
I AM NOT AFRAID !
I AM NOT AFRAID OF RUNNING !
RUNNING IS NOT EVEN A LIVING THING !
ITS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS BEING AFRAID OF A THING WHICH DOES NOT EXIST !!
NO !
NO !
NO !
I MUST PUSH MYSELF !
I MUST !!!!
I MUST PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I AM NOT AFRAID !!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHH !

And believe or not ...
Coach , Mr Lim , has been shaking his head at C Girls since last year ...
NO !
HE CANNOT SHAKE HIS HEAD !
HE WILL NOD HIS HEAD AT US ONE DAY !
HE WILL !
WE ARE NOT HOPELESS AFTER ALL !

And looking back at ex-captain , Junko's "talk" just now ,
She was definitely VERY DISAPPOINTED !
She just finished everything with one or two sentences .
" The team has not changed at all . "

Oh My God ... !!!
So many people are utterly disappointed in ME !

Oh boy !
I had better go to sleep now ...
Tomorrow morning still got training !
PUSH !
I WILL PUSH MYSELF FROM TODAY ONWARDS !!!!

And my Common Test results are so pathetic and like CRAP !
Fit to be in the rubbish bin !
Grr !
MUST BUCK UP !!!!!
Buck Up for studies and running !

JIAAAAYOUSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-01T19:30:00.002+08:00

This is the poem I had created for the Literature project .
I know its not very good ...
Quite lousy in fact ...

The theme is about love ..
This poem is about a loving couple who had to seperate from each other because of a third party .
Basically ,
I created this poem after seeing a MV yeah ...

- "Leaving"

You are always there
Consoling me ,
Playing with me ,
Laughing with me ,
Shouting with me .
But I did not notice .
Not until you had left .

Emptiness filled me .
But I still hold back my courage
My foolish pride ...
I tried to fill the emptiness with alcohol
I thought you will come back to me .
I waited . I waited .
But no words .

Finally I abandoned my mind and followed my heart .
I searched for you .
I found you .
I screamed for you .
I cried for you .
I yearned for you .
But you did not turn back .

You kept walking on ,
My tears kept running on .
Suddenly my rainbow was gone
When you said , " I never ever wants to see you again ! "
Love hurts .
And I collapsed in darkness .
You had gone forever ......

2009-02-28T21:49:00.005+08:00

Oh My God !
Training will be on Monday , Wednesday , Friday & Saturday starting from next week .
Saturday will be on morning ..
Because coach wants us to adapt to the morning condition ...
4 freaking times a week ...
Oh My God ! Oh My God !
How will I ever survive ? .
I am going MADDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!
Training like that seriously will worn me out ...
Now I dont know whether I want 25th March , 9am , to arrive faster or slower ...
Faster = Less pressure & training not that many times
Slower = Have not mentally & physically prepared for the big day

Oh God ,
Tell me I can do it !
Tell me I can live through this whole march of torture !!!!
ARRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!

Actually March should not be torturous ..
Because my birthday falls on MARCH ...
Grr !

Once again ...
Today's training was almost killing me as the sun absorbs my energy away ...
2 sets of intervals .
1st set = 4.8km
2nd set = 4km

And ...
If you ever see my cheeks red in colour ,
I am NOT blushing .
That is because of the FREAKING sun that I was under on Friday Sports Day and today's training which causes me to have sunburn on my cheeks ...

ARGH !
I am dead beat already !
Cannot stand the exhaustion of today's training anymore !
Going to bed soon ...

CORRINA TAN
YA CAN DO IT !!!!

2009-02-27T21:51:00.004+08:00

For today's Sports Day ,
Another 4x400m medal flew into my hand ..
So now I got 2 medals ...
800m and 4x400m .

Today's training was postponed to tomorrow morning , 0830 .

After Sports Day today ,
the girls went TEAM BONDING !
Hahas ...
At first ,
we decided to take up WeiSheng's suggestion and go to the West Coast dont know what and took lunch ...
But when we reached there ,
Gosh !
There got practically nothing ...
Except for restaurants ...
Nice suggestion of his !

In the end ,
we decided to go to Jurong Point and had lunch although the hunger is killing us ...
After that ,
we went crazy around Jurong Point ...
If you know what that means ...
Hehe xp...

By the way ,
THANKS to all who had congratulated me !!! ^^

During the events ,
my eyes kept scanning the area ,
in search of you .
Found you .
My eyes just cannot seem to tore away from you .
Like magnets .
But you did not return your adorable gaze to me .
I waited . I waited .
But you still did not .
The feeling was similar to losing in a race .
Missing you ...
Heaps ...

2009-02-20T22:40:00.004+08:00

Training today was TOUGH
BUT
I hope every training we get to do this .
Because I enjoyed this kind of mileage training .
:D

The workouts for training around school compound were :
> 1 set of 6 rounds
> 1 set of 5 rounds
> 1 set of 4 rounds
All these sets , we should not run over 25min .
So the distances that I had ran today including the warm-up were :
1 round around school compound = 830m
Warm Up = 3 rounds
Workouts = 14 rounds
17x830
= 14.11km

Yay !
Tomorrow's (Saturday) training was CANCELLED ..
Oops !
I am actually happy ? .
But training will be on Monday instead then ...
Monday straight after Higher Mother Tongue ...
And this will only take effect on people who had got selected for the Cross-Country team ...
Sigh ..
This means that I dont need to take lunch already ...
Wonder how I will be able to stand the hunger ...

P.S. And I will also be baking Oatmeal / Cornflakes cookies tomorrow morning ! xP

2009-02-19T22:31:00.003+08:00

Yesterday ..
Sports Day Heats for 100m , 400m
And Sports Day 800m Finals .

For 100m ..
I confirmed OUT already ...
Sad ...
D:

Then due to some complicated circumstances which I am quite lazy to explain ...
JiaHui and me gave up 400m to others ...
For 800m ...
Guess what ...
I got CHAMPION !!!
Hahas !
From primary school till now ...
My cabinet had always been filled with BRONZE medals ...
which also means I always managed to get 3rd no matter what ...
No further less or more ...
Till yesterday ...
I FINALLY got a medal which can outstands all the others ...
GOLD !!!!!!!

Actually frankly speaking ..
I don't see a difference between the bronze , silver & gold medal ...
All same colours one ...
Crap !
xP

After I ended the 800m at the finishing point ,
I think my both legs suddenly cramped .
Because I suddenly felt that my legs were very pain and felt like collapsing ...
And my sight was a complete blur too .
Fortunately I did not collapse ..
Because Superwoman JangWai & Reshmi came and rescued me !!!!
Hahas !

Okays .
That is for now .
I got to go sleep early for tomorrow's training ! :D

And a belated
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHIAYUAN !!! ^^

P.S. Yesterday 18 Feb was his birthday ! And I got gave him a present ! :)

2009-02-17T20:47:00.004+08:00

People ...
I know my WINGS Cross-Country 4.2km timing already ...
Mine : 23:46:65 min

Last year ,
the race was 3.8km ...
And my timing was : 22:27:29 min

I HAD IMPROVED !
by 1 pathetic min ........................ ? .

Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh !

Once I online ...
Jin Ming msned me ...
Asked me if I want to join a race with him ...
Because this race required 4 people to run ...
Then he said they short of one girl ...
And you know what's next yeah ...
Lols ...

But the distance really is one of the problem that made me hesitate ...
7-8km for one participant .
Not easy ...
And Jin Ming said he need a girl who can push and not give up easily ..
I am afraid I don't have these qualities yeah ...
And also some personal reasons .
:X

Anyway ,
I asked him go school and ask his girl-friends first .
If all reject ,
then I might consider ...
MIGHT ...
Dont pin too much hopes .

Cross my fingers for his girl-friends to NOT reject him ...

And today I so sianz ...
So tired ...
Dont know why ...
Dont feel like doing anything ...
Sigh ...
Maybe too stressed up over tomorrow's Sports Day Heats & Training ? .
Tomorrow heats maybe on 800m Finals and 100m ? .
After that ,
still need attend training at Clementi Stadium ...
Oh My God ...
I really hoped I can cope ...

Anyway after viewing Ms Chua's blog ...
I felt more relaxed ...
Maybe because she post some funny things ? .
Hahas ...
MAYBE I will contact her to join us during the Nationals to support us ? .
Like that maybe I will run faster ? .
Hahas !!!
xP

WINGS Race

2009-02-15T01:53:00.003+08:00

Today's race was the 1st race that I had ran without raining ...
Last year the whole races I attended was all raining ...
Pathetic ...

Anyway ,
today Coach was unhappy and disappointed at our results ...
Mainly because WeiSheng ran half-way then he headache then he decided not to run anymore ...
And Mazzya (Is this how I spell the name?) fell down half-way ...
I meant well ...
Its not their fault .
They also cannot help for this to happen ..
And neither are they happy for their state they are in too .
Our positions also affected Mr Lim ...
Its not a pleasant sight for me too .
My position totally SUCKS !

And I do not understand why the boys star runners always get hurts in the race ...
Last year is Jin Ming .
[Jin Ming sprained his ankle ..]
This year is Wei Sheng .
Who is next year ? .
Terry ? . Brandon ? .
Wait !
Brandon star runner ? .
Hahas I am a joker .
LOLS !

Anyway ,
for the entire race ,
JiaHui and me was pacing each other .
Good Job yeah !
We always stick together ..
Hahas !

My position : 47th
JiaHui's position : 46th

The others I am not quite sure .
Anyway ,
after they had posted the results on the net about the timing and the confirmed positions ,
I will then update again yeah ...
And this will take like up to a few days time ...
SLOW POKE !
I really cannot wait to view my timing !

CROSS MY FINGERS for the results !!! :X

2009-02-14T09:40:00.004+08:00

Race is now less than 7 hours later !

The excitement and anxiety is flooding me ...
Oh my god ...
I scared later the race I will do badly ...
Practically all kinds of mixed feelings are overwhelming me now !

By the way ...
Guys out there ,
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY !!!
Enjoy the day with your partner yeah ...
And hope I enjoy my day with my race ...
I just hope I dont come back home with a heavy heart later on just because I did not meet my expectations or coach's or whoever ...

I MUST CONVERT ALL THE PRESSURE TO MOTIVATION & SUPPORT NOW !!!! :D

PRESSURE = MOTIVATION
PRESSURE = SUPPORT

GUYS WHO ARE GOING FOR THE RACE LATER :
*JIAYOUS* !!!
GOOD LUCK !!
JUST DO IT !!!
WILL CROSS MY FINGERS FOR YA ALL !
4.2KM OR 5.2KM W/ OR W/O SLOPE IS NOT GOING TO KILL US !
WE ARE GOING TO WHACK THE DISTANCE TOGETHER !!!!!!!
CHIONG !

2009-02-13T23:33:00.002+08:00

Less than 30mins to Valentines Day !
Less than 16hours to the race !
You guys better flood me with "Good Luck" and "Happy Valentines Day" texts !

Tomorrow ...
C Girls race starts at : 1510
C Girls warm-up : 1410

Today ...
I received like 4 Valentines Day gift ? .
Erm ...
I shall only say 3 of the gifts ...
1 is Cookie from Jillian ..
1 is Card & fancy paperclip from Ms Cheng ...
1 is a sweet from En Quan ...
You guys should try out Jillian's mother home-made cookies someday yeah ..
Its F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S !
Hahas !

Today ...
Received *NEW* Jersey ...
Rather unpleased with the jersey though ...
Dont be a nosey parker and ask me why ...
I wont tell you ...
Unless I am willing to ...

Training today was light ...
We did 5.4km including warm-up ...
Then we did YOGA training !
Hahas ...
Coach said it is useful to soothe our souls tomorrow before race ...
LOLS !

Today after training ,
JiaHui and me went to see Yoga & Mr Chin played basketball ...
Then Mr Chin & Yoga also taught us tips about basketball yadayada ...
Nice chat ...
But Mr Chin said me FLIRT lor !
What the ...
How can he believe JiaHui & JangWai's words ...? .
Not fair to me ...
And when did my "sister" admit that we are together lor ...
Crap !
LOLS !
Mr Chin will always be so CRAPPY !

P.S. People ... I am talking about 2 types of Yoga in this 2 paragraph yeah ... So differenciate them properly ! HEHE ! xP

Ride from Jin Ming HOME

2009-02-12T22:37:00.002+08:00

Today ...
Jin Ming SO FREAKING GOOD !
The only good person on earth that had not extinct !!!
Hahas !
After school already ...
then I was tired ...
Dont feel like walking home anymore ...
Then suddenly A MACHO MAN COME TO RESCUE ME !
Hahas ...
No luh ...
Kidding ...
If ever that happens ...
I dont know what I will do ...
Hehe xP ...

Actually is Jin Ming come to the RESCUE !
Hahas ...
I met him when I was walking home ...
Then my bag was heavy ...
Then I was joking with him ,"Can you ride me home ?"
Then he was like ,"Where you stay ?."
Then I thought my house was considered far from him ...
But instead ,
he said it was quite near ..
LOLS !
Then he asked me to hop on on his bike ...
And I was so SURPRISED !!!
HAHAS !
I thought he was joking ....
But he was not ...
So I abandoned JiaHui and stood behind his bike and
WHEEEE !
Hahas !

I was so scared he cannot withstand my weight ...
Because he was so much smaller size than me ...
Looks like I had despised him after all ...
LOLS !
I kept gripping on to his shirt so tightly...
And I almost scared that my finger nails would grip into his flesh instead as I was so freaking SCARED !!!
The feeling standing behind is so COOL !!!
It feels like that time ChiaYuan rode me back during the BBQ session last year !!!
Memories ...
Hahas !
Then Jin Ming rode super FAST also ...
And there is a slope ...
Wonder how strong are his legs ...
LOLS !

Guess what after I had "ALIGHTED" ... ? .
You can just see his shirt so CRUMPLED !
Hahas !
Like last time ChiaYuan one ...
But ChiaYuan's one was worse !
I pulled it till it almost strangled him and he asked me to hold his shoulders instead !
Hahas !
Paiseh hor if I crumpled your shirt accidentaly ...
HAHAS !

Training

2009-02-08T00:12:00.005+08:00

Endure
Endurance
Endure
Endurance

Endurance
Resilience
Perseverance
Determination

You can do it like you did it before !
HANG IN THERE !

Friday training was SO "PRO" !!!
The workout was 2 sets of 4.8km each !!!!
Crap !
Its unbelievable that I can run more than 10km in a day !

I was off-form ..
Fortunately ,
for the last set of 4.8km ...
WanPing , KeHui & Rupini encouraged me ...
Or I think I will be off dead or give up ...
Thank You SENIORS !
This time you all did not "bully" me !
Hahas ...

Actually this is a preparation for the last-minute race on Next Saturday ...
Next Saturday sounds familiar , right ? .
You know why ? .
Because its VALENTINES DAY ..
And
Oh CRAP !
I am going to spend Valentines Day running 4.2km frantically and stressfully at Bedok Reservoir...
~~And maybe emo-ing for not winning medals ? .~~[WONT LET THIS HAPPENED !]
It sounds so WRONG ... !
Hmm ...
Maybe its a ROMANTIC place to spend your time at a park on Valentines Day ...
But not spending your time running there ...
I bet we are going to disturb lots of couples who are going to spend quality time at Bedok Reservoir ...
HAHAS ! xP

And
GOSH !
Actually being a captain is not easy ...
Friday ,
Coach like kept on questioning me ...
And you could just see my fingers twisting around my fbt ...
Like so pressurize as all eyes stared at you ...
doubting your ability ...

Anyway ,
Next week is really a hectic week ...
What with common tests & race & a special occasion which I do not know how to spend ...
I bet I will be half-dead by next Sunday ...
HOPE NOT ? .

2009-02-05T21:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday ...
I was On Form ...
So 3 sets of 2.4km each not that bad ...

National Cross-Country coming in like less than 9 weeks !
EVERYBODY MUST BUCK UP WORH !!!
WE MUST TRY TO WIN MEDALS HOR !!!!
But dont only care about individual self ...
Must also care about team-mates hor ...
If you improve ,
then team-mates dont improve also no use one ...
Like that also no medals one ...
Imagine one at 50 position and the other at 100 position ...
Medals will just FLY AWAY !
Its better for team-mates to get both 60 positions together then 1 at 50 and 1 at 100 , right ? .

Enough said .
Erm ...
Sports day also coming !
I will be taking 100m indiv , 400m indiv , 4x400m relay , 800m indiv & 12x200m fartlek ...
Actually I tell you guys something arh ...
I dont want take fartlek one ...
Is KeHui forced one ..
Hahas !
Senior "Bully" Junior again !
xP
Actually I not a sprinter ...
I only take 100m for FUN !
LOLS !
Then the relay I will be taking with JiaHui , Reshmi & JangWai ...
ALL Qin House leh !
We sure WHACKED ALL the medals one ...
Hahas !
Just Joking !
LOLS !

And KENNETH [LSPS] Joining Cross-Country leh !
Finally can meet someone during Nationals ...
Hahas !
He C Boys ..
Run freaking fast although he never train and CCA is band ...
PRO !
xP

Common Test also coming ...
Its next week !
MUST STUDY HARD !!!!!!!!!!
I must get ALMOST ALL A1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO MANY THINGS TO DO ...
YET SO LITTLE TIME ...
EVERYONE
JIAYOUS !!!
[In common test , nationals & sports day !!] (:

P.S. Now too happy ... Later cannot sleep ...

Visiting Coach Mr Lim For Chinese New Year

2009-02-01T22:25:00.004+08:00

Oh Yeah ...
Right ...
Just came back from visiting Coach Mr Lim an hour ago ...

KeHui
WanPing
Reshmi
Harriel
JiaHui
Selas
ChiaYuan
HaoRong
LiangWee
Junko
YiYing
DeQuan
WeiSheng
JanAnn
Terry
Hisyam
Yoga
Rupini
Shawn
* Who is the LAST freaking person that I had missed ? *
There were 21 or 22 people including me that turned up today ...

First ,
We went to Coach Mr Lim's house ..
His house so small ...
Lucky got enough chairs ...
Hahas ...
Then we started on the Chinese New Year Goodies as appetizer ...
And Mr Lim asked us to eat finish ALL his goodies ...
And what the crap !
You guys are so freaking smart ...
You people chose a very brilliant idea to "FINISH" the goodies ...
You guys actually spilled TWO cans of goodies !!!!
One of the can you spilt is MY FAVOURITE !!!
CASHEW NUTS !!!
ARGH !
LOLS !
Lucky Mr Lim dont know we all spilt the cashew nuts ...
Hahas !
Wonder how Mr Lim is doing at home now ...
CLEANING his filthy house ? .
Or
Cursing us ? .
Lols ...

After 10mins at his home ,
we went down to the coffee shop downstairs his house and grabbed our dinner !
Oh My !
Who knows , the dinner took so freaking LONG !
30mins like that then the dishes come ...
And the worst had not yet to arrive ...
GOSH !!!!
He ordered so MANY freaking dishes !!!
4-5 Plates of Chicken Wings [For ONLY GIRLS]
2-3 Plates of Vegetables [For ONLY GIRLS]
6 BIG Bowls of Noodles for us to share [For ONLY GIRLS]
1 BIG Bowl of Longan Desert [For ONLY GIRLS]
Drinks
ETC
ETC
Oh BOY !
My stomach almost BURST !
And you know what the EVIL WanPing do ? .
You will not believe what she had done !!!
She almost emptied the whole remaining noodles on my plate !!!
And I was like so FULL !!!
But I cannot possible put the noodles back , right ? .
Coach wanted us to FINISH ALL up !!!
So ...
I was eating the noodles so pathetic !
SENIOR BULLY JUNIOR !!!
LOLS !

When we were eating ...
Mr Lim also said we had no table manners ... !!!
LOLS !
Somemore ...
He TAUGHT us some table manners !
Hahas !
Guess we are some hopeless bunch of girls ? .
Hahas !

After the dinner ,
He talked talked talked about SERIOUS MATTERS ...
And then LiangWee , JanAnn & ChiaYuan was like laughing their head off when the coach ticked HaoRong off !
WAIT !
HaoRong was also suppressing his laughter in the meantime !
What the Crap !
Lols !

AND
COACH PROMISED TO TREAT US TO DINNER AGAIN IF WE WIN THE NATIONAL CROSS-COUNTRY !!!
HAHAS !
I WILL REMEMBER THIS ! xP

And later ...
Dont know why ...
We started having this conversation about SH_T ...
LOLS !
Nice story of yours Rupini !
Hahas !

And
DASH IT !
Today I laughed so many freaking times ...
and I was crowned KeHui's descendant ...
LOLS !

To Atrocious Junior TERRY :

For Gods Sake !

Let me make this CLEAR again !

I dont like YongKai , HaoRong or whatever !

And my name is not called Vanilla , Corrita ...etc etc !!!

Be careful I PUMP YOU !!!

MUAHAHA !!!!! xP

2009-01-25T01:32:00.009+08:00

Haiyo ...
How come I like that one ... ?
What the crap !
What should I do ?
What if I take things for granted again ?
Should I learn the hard way ?
Or the soft way ?
So many freaking days already ...
I still had not made up my decision ...
But he knew my decision already ...
" NO " ...
But this no only occupies half of my heart ..
There is still space for " YES " ...
Why Why Why ??!!
One moment ,
I felt my heart shattered into pieces ...
The next moment ,
I had recovered ...
I felt strong & myself again ...
What the crap is going on ?!
Why is a human heart so freaking complicated ?!
God ,
I just want everything to be smooth & simple ...
Is it a very hard request ?

So cold ...
Suddenly so cold ...
Puh-lease dont do that ...
Its heart-breaking to me ...
I just want back the times ...
The memories ...
The simplicity of life ...

Why am I avoiding ?
I thought SHOPPING can cure everything ...
Can kill the time I spent on thinking ...
It does not !
IT DOES NOT !!
IT DOES NOTTTTTTTT !!!!!!

I felt like saying ,
" Can we start afresh ? "
But my mind dont permit me to do so ...
I am tored ...
Should I give myself another 6-8months MC or ... ?

In actual fact ...
I know majority of the people will tell me to say " NO " ...
I dont know .
I DONT KNOW !
I DONT KNOW !!!!!!

2009-01-22T22:10:00.005+08:00

Sigh ...
Sigh Sigh Sigh ...
I cannot TRUST anybody anymore !
Except ...
for my "Sister" !!!
I poured everything out AT LAST !
PHEW !
My heart LIGHTENS ...
For the past few days ...
Everything was compressed in my small heart ...
NOW !
Its so COOL !
Although my "sister" only gave me 1 repeatedly reply :
"I dont know . Up to you ."
My "sister" just kept emphasizing he had no position in giving advise ...
Frustrating !
But in the end ...
Still cheer me up !
My "sister"'s only piece of advise was :
"These things are managable ."
"Treasure while you can , Dont take it for granted ."
I was like ...
Sigh sigh sigh ... !
Dont really know whether his this short & sweet one sentence will help me in solving my dilemma ...
But I will bear it in my mind !
Yeah ,
Up To Me !
Now ,
I really dont know whether to choose head or tails ...

Cross my fingers ! xP

~~The truth is ... I cannot stop thinking about you .~~

Lately Busy

2009-01-18T14:39:00.003+08:00

Paiseh Paiseh .
Recently I am too busy to update properly ! ):
Sorry peepos ...
Somemore this year sec 2 ...
MUST buck up yeah !!!

Just recovered from my fever & stomach flu ...
But still got a bit throat problem ...

Sigh ...
Just dont get it why people sick ,
you people still want to torture patient ...
Give patient more work , like project ...
Cannot let people rest in peace ...

Never Mind ...
Got to go ....
DO uncompleted HOMEWORKS for this week !!!

SIGH SIGH !!!!! ):

P.S. I HAD GROWN 3CM !!!!!! YEEPEE !!! SO HAPPY ! I HAD HIT 160CM+ FINALLY ! =DD

2009-01-10T14:20:00.009+08:00

STUPID PERSON !
THINK HE PLAY !
I ALSO PLAY ARH !
SO WHAT !
社会上的败类 !
IS SOME LOSER !
STARTED THE MATTER FIRST STILL SAY ME !
YAYA OF COURSE I CARE FOR MYSELF LA !
THEN CARE FOR YOU MEH !
I ONCE A WEEK USED ONLY !
THEN EVERYDAY YOU THIS LOSER USED FROM NOON TILL AT NIGHT !
I WHERE CAN DO MY PROJECT AND EVERYTHING !
YOU THIS LOSER !
FREAKING LOSER !
THOUGHT YOU RICH ARH!
SOME SMELLY & STINKY MONEY YOU THOUGHT I WANT !
YOU SCRAM LUH ! GOT THIS KIND OF PERSON IN THE SOCIETY THAT IS WHY THE SOCIETY BECOME LIKE THIS !
EVERYTHING HE THINKS HE DO IS CORRECT !
MUMMY'S BOY !
THINK YOUR STUPID WEAPON IS GOOD ARH !
MY SWORD BETTER THAN YOU !
I JUST WAVED IT IN THE AIR AND YOU DODGED TILL DONT KNOW WHERE !
I WANT TO USE LAPTOP OR NOT YOUR FREAKING STUPID BUSINESS ARH !
YAYA I PURPOSELY WANT LEH !
CANNOT ARH !
I DONT WANT TO GIVE WAY !
GOOD !
YOU NO MOOD TO PLAY THEN NO MOOD TO PLAY LOR !
YOU THINK YOU USE THIS METHOD I WILL GIVE IN TO YOU !
PUI !
MY FOOT !
THOUGHT YOU BIGGER THAN ME THEN RESORT TO FIGHTING THEN I SCARED ARH !
I ALSO CAN FIGHT WHAT !
THOUGHT I GIRL DONT KNOW HOW TO FIGHT ARH !
I ALSO ONCE A WUSHU WHAT !
KICK YOU TO CHINA ARH !
CRAPPER !
FABRICATE YOUR OWN STORIES !
YOU USE THE TRUE-BLUE STORIES LUH !
SEE WHO WINS !
ONLY KNOW HOW TO USE FAKE STORIES !
I NEVER REACT DOESNT MEANS I ADMIT THAT I AM IN THE WRONG WHAT !
HOPELESS !
I TOLERATED YOU FOR SO MANY FREAKING DAYS !
I GOT DO LIKE WHAT YOU DO MEH !
SWORD I DONT TAKE OUT ?!
THEN I USED WHAT AS DEFENSIVE MODE ?!
YOU TELL ME LUH !
EVERYTHING MY FAULT LUH !
YES YES YES !
MY FAULT !
YOU THIS ZHONG NAN QING NU PERSON !
I GIVE WAY ?!
THEN WHO GIVE WAY TO ME ?!
YOU ARH !
MY FOOT !
YALAYALA !
I IN THE WRONG !
ALWAYS ME ONE !
HE LEH !
NOT ARH !
WHAT THE CRAP !
I HELP YOU THINK !
WHO HELP ME THINK !
EVERYTIME BOOTLICK !
WHAT THE CRAP !
CRAP CRAP CRAP !
CRAPPISH !